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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

An increasing number of schools provide tablets and laptop computers for students to use in school, replacing books and other printed materials like exams and assignments. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

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Nowadays, a lot of educational institutions equip
students
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 with modern
devices
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,
such
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 as computers and get rid of printed books and traditional teaching methods.
While
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this
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 enables pupils to gain a deeper knowledge of the digitalized world, they could
also
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 experience distractions in their studies. There are two main benefits to learners using hand-in-hand gadgets and equipment. The main one is that exposing children to the digital world at a young age would make them more flexible with handling E-documents and
devices
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 which are essential skills for the future.
For instance
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, 80% of teachers and lecturers in the USA can teach the progress for
students
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 to use the electronic tools in a proper way. Previously, in the pen-and-paper world, assignment and exam papers got lost or misplaced which is no longer a concern in
this
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 modernized era. All the information and data can be kept in a storage or a file and schoolchild can easily submit their work on the school website.
Consequently
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, it will
also
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 benefit tutors as they can easily identify the homework and tests that were submitted digitally by pupils.
On the other hand
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, various drawbacks may be noted. In the first place, teenagers misuse these
devices
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 by installing social media applications like Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.
As a result
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, a lot of
students
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 got distracted by these apps during the lecture sessions.
In addition
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, most of these apps contain mature content which is far more unsuitable for young learners. A
further
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 disadvantage is that the light emitted from the screens of laptops and mobile
devices
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 can cause serious health problems. These health problems include headaches, eye strain and obesity
due to
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 sitting in one place for extended periods of time. In conclusion, using electronic gadgets in education
centers
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centres
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 could be a boon when used correctly and it can be helpful for
students
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 to get better academically.
Conversely
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, it can tolerate learners and take a toll on their physical well-being.

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Development
You've presented a well-structured essay that effectively discusses the advantages and disadvantages of schools providing modern devices like tablets and laptop computers. To further enhance your essay, consider expanding on your examples with more specific details or statistics to strengthen your arguments.
Structure
Be mindful of the distinct separation between paragraphs for each idea. This was mostly achieved, but ensure every paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that signals the content of the paragraph, supporting the essay’s overall coherence and cohesion.
Balance
Try to maintain a balance in the discussion of advantages and disadvantages. Though your coverage is equitable, delve deeper into each point to enrich your analysis and present a comprehensive view.
Accuracy
Keep an eye on occasional grammatical inaccuracies and typos that can detract from the clarity and professionalism of your writing. Proofreading can help to minimize these errors.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, effectively framing the essay’s discussion.
Use of Examples
Use of relevant and relatable examples to illustrate your points makes your arguments engaging and convincing.
Logical Flow
You maintained a logical flow of ideas throughout, making your essay easy to follow.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Interactive learning
  • Educational resources
  • Digital materials
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Carbon footprint
  • Investment
  • Distraction
  • Equality
  • Technology access
  • Technical issues
  • Prolonged use
  • Eye strain
  • Posture
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