IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many modern societies, grandchildren rarely spend any quality time with their parents. What do you think as the consequence of this?

#societies #grandchildren #quality #time #parents #consequence
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 modern generation, grandchildren hardly spend
time
Use synonyms
 with their family.
According to
Linking Words
 me, there are many outcomes of less spending
time
Use synonyms
 with their
parents
Use synonyms
 some have negative and positive aspects.
Due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, young people have lost connection with family and have no knowledge about their customs, cultures and traditions.
For example
Linking Words
, most children these days for
further
Linking Words
 study need to go outside of the town.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 compels them to stay there and adapt culture of other cities or countries.
Moreover
Linking Words
, staying far away from their
parents
Use synonyms
 for a long
time
Use synonyms
 makes relations weak between them which leads to hesitation for them to explain their emotions and feelings to each other.
Therefore
Linking Words
, children rarely explain their problems to their
parents
Use synonyms
 which creates differences between them and can lead to conflicts as well.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are a plethora of positive effects as well.
Due to
Linking Words
 living separately from their
parents
Use synonyms
 for a
while
Linking Words
, they learn the lesson from
life
Use synonyms
 and they work by themselves and do not depend on their family, especially financially.
For instance
Linking Words
, when they start living in a house or apartment without
taking
Verb problem
getting
show examples
 help from their
parents
Use synonyms
, they become independent and pay bills by themselves.
Besides
Linking Words
, they learn to deal with different kinds of people on their own, which helps them in their future
life
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 not
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 enough
time
Use synonyms
 with their
parents
Use synonyms
 might
lost
Change the verb form
lose
be lost
show examples
 connection with their children
in contrast
Linking Words
, by exploring the world by themselves, they learn lessons of
life
Use synonyms
 which they can apply in their upcoming
life
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by AP on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph presents a clear main idea and is fully developed with examples or explanations.
Lexical Resource
Try to use a wider range of grammatical structures and vocabulary to enhance clarity and enrich your arguments.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Ensure to vary your sentence structures to improve the readability and sophistication of your essay.
Task Response
Clarify and explicitly state your opinion in the conclusion to strengthen your argument and task response.
Task Response
The essay presents a balanced view, addressing both negative and positive aspects of the issue.
Coherence & Cohesion
Good attempt at structuring the essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Task Achievement
Includes examples to support points, enhancing the effectiveness of the arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: