New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
In
this
present world
, the usage of technology is constantly on the rise. This
is the major trend not just for adults but also
for children. All of the new developments have transformed our world
into a better place. However
, it has become an addiction to most of the offspring rather than a necessity, I believe that the advantages of this
trend outweigh the disadvantages. This
will be proven by bringing up the topic of reduced social interaction and outdoor activities.
As known about child psychology, they are mostly influenced at a young age irrespective of positive or negative factors. By spending most of the time with networking devices, communication has been drastically reduced. For instance
, in recent times, parents are using mobile phones or iPads as a distraction for the younger ones so that they can do their own chores. As a result
, they are building a bridge between the real world
and the device world
.
Moreover
, with the increased use of devices, there are decreased outdoor activities resulting in a lot of mental issues. According to
a study released by the University of Chicago, the percentage of people with depression has been reduced by 40 percent
in the Change the spelling
per cent
last
five years and they stated that this
is mostly because of the increased use of technology. We need to realise that this
is a serious issue as this
is not only affecting humans physically but also
mentally.
Therefore
, the points mentioned above clearly state that children spending their free time using electronics has more disadvantages when compared to advantages. Making this
aware all families can help resolve this
issue in the coming future and thus
, protect the next generation of adults.Submitted by praneeth2094 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Introduction Clarity
Try to clearly state your viewpoint in the introduction to guide the reader on your stance regarding the advantages and disadvantages.
Elaboration
Incorporate a wider range of specific examples and evidence to elaborate on your points and strengthen your argument.
Balance and Development
Consider alternating paragraphs to discuss the advantages thoroughly alongside the disadvantages to create a balanced argument on the impact of technology on children's free time.
Sentence Variety
Pay attention to sentence structure and variety to enhance readability and flow of ideas.
Introduction
You've effectively introduced the topic and provided a clear statement regarding your viewpoint, though slightly hinting at a counterargument perspective.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure and transition between paragraphs are commendable, facilitating an easy follow-through of your argument.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the discussed points, reiterating your stance clearly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.