Some people believe that hospitals should spend money on equipment. Others think it would be better to spend money hiring doctors and nurses. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #hospitals #money #equipment #doctors #nurses

Nowadays, people are divided over whether spending more money on

equipment

is better than investing in hiring medical professionals,

such

as doctors and nurses. In

this

essay, I will shed light on both views and reveal my personal perspective. On the one hand, improved

equipment

can facilitate the process of analyzing and diagnosing the disease quickly and efficiently. First of all, in recent times, most

diseases

are detected by cutting-edge technologies and

equipment

, which are very effective in terms of accuracy and time.

For instance

, in order to find any disease occurring in the stomach, people had no choice but to swallow medical tubes in order to have their stomach investigated in the past, but now it is much easier just by using radio waves or X-rays to detect

diseases

without any trouble.

Furthermore

, as modern medical gadgets use electric signals, it makes it much quicker to find illness than conventional ways of investigation.

On the other hand

, the ones who agree that it is worth hiring some experts in medicine have their own respective opinions that cannot be overlooked.

To begin

with,

although

technology can pave the way for efficient ways of analyzing, doctors

also

play a key role in diagnosing and making correct prescriptions for

diseases

. To cite a clear example, in some developed countries, people often fail to heal because of false prescriptions and medicines.

Therefore

, their life can be threatened largely

due to

a shortage of medical professionals.

To sum up

while

investing in

equipment

can be very effective for analyzing

diseases

, I personally think that doctors and nurses shape the core of the world of medicine.

Submitted by bhoswriting on Wed Mar 27 2024

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Task Achievement

Make sure to provide even more specific examples to support your arguments. While you have offered some examples, enhancing them with more detailed information about how technology and professionals impact patient care would strengthen your essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Consider varying your sentence structures further to add complexity and depth to your essay. While coherence and cohesion are strong, incorporating a wider variety of sentence types can make your writing even more engaging.

Task Achievement

For an even stronger response, directly compare the impacts of investing in equipment vs. hiring professionals within the body of your essay. This comparison can make your argument more persuasive and compelling.

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

These days, many people have their own computer and telephone, so it is quite easy for them to do their job at home. Do advantages of working at home outweigh diadvantages?

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