Some people think that it is better to other countries for greater work and life opportunities. Others argue that it is best to stay in their home country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
In modern society,
whereas
most individuals prefer living, working or studying abroad, others opt to stay in their own countries. In my opinion, it would be better to remain in the motherland and contribute to the economy of the country
.
It is known that working or studying in foreign countries enables people to get better wages, wide outlooks and more opportunities. For instance
, in the USA, there is an immigration system called Green Card and some programs, such
as Work and Travel, provide immigrants with well-paid work and accommodation. Moreover
, students can study at top universities to get internationally recognised diplomas and boost their horizons living there. Finally
, every person can learn to be independent, enhance their self-confidence, gain enough experience as well as
set up their own businesses living abroad.
However
, there are a number of drawbacks to living in another country
, such
as experiencing homesickness, cultural shock, potential isolation, and difficulties in adapting to a new environment. When it comes to the latter view, living in a home country
is such
a wonderful feeling that nobody can ignore. I mean that it is an honour to contribute to the development of their countries for everyone by occupying their motherland. Besides
, by living in their own country
, humans feel safety, relief and peace in addition
to being supported by their parents, relatives and friends. There is an old saying in our society “East or West, Home is Best”. Nonetheless
, native people experience several difficulties, like limited job prospects, potential lower wages, challenges of economic instability or political unrest, and less exposure to international experience.
In conclusion, although
there are many opportunities to live abroad, it is honourable for inhabitants to remain in their birthplace and the feeling of patriotism is superior at all times.Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on
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Task Achievement
Your essay provides a clear and well-structured argument, effectively discussing both views and your own opinion. To improve further, try to include more specific examples that support your points. This will enhance the persuasiveness and depth of your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
You've done a great job organizing your essay and maintaining logical progression of ideas. To elevate your score even more, consider varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of linking words to enhance the flow of your essay.
Overall Comment
Your conclusion successfully encapsulates your view and the discussion. For perfection, make sure your conclusion not only restates your opinion but also succinctly summarizes the reasons supporting it, creating a powerful end statement.
Task Achievement
Effectively discussed both views and provided a clear personal stance.
Coherence and Cohesion
Logical structure and progression of ideas through well-organized paragraphs.
Supporting Details
Use of examples to support points, though more specific details could make them even stronger.