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Writing Samples
Band 7

More and more people prefer to read ebooks rather than paper books. What are the reasons for this? What problems can this cause for libraries?

#people #ebooks #paper #books #libraries
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It is true that ebook users are getting increased as
people
 prefer to read using their electric devices rather than paper
books
.
However
, I firmly believe that
this
 situation does not affect libraries because they still have their roles in our society and there will be
people
 who like to read actual
books
. There are several reasons why
people
 prefer ebooks.
To begin
 with, it is cost-effective and convenient. Compared to paper
books
, electric
books
 are cheaper and easy to download. So if someone has a device like a mobile phone or tablet, they can read
books
 everywhere they want.
Furthermore
, it is easy to carry.
For instance
, these days, it is essential for students to bring their own devices to their schools. Most schools are utilising electric devices because it is a very effective way to learn and the students do not need to bring heavy textbooks.
Nevertheless
, there will remain libraries in our communities because of
people
's needs. There are still some citizens who like to read physical
books
such
 as elderly ones. They think not only reading an actual book is better for their memory, but
also
 it is good for their eye. Sometimes using a ebook makes
people
's eyes get red
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and dry.
For example
, a recent study shows that there is a 20% of increasing memory retention in university students than others who are mainly using ebooks in Korea.
To sum up
,
while
 there are many
people
 who prefer electric
books
, it is evident that there still will libraries exist as some parts of communities will need places to borrow paper
books
.
Submitted by hmhy0326 on

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Introduction
Ensure a clear and concise thesis statement is presented in your introduction to guide the reader through your essay.
Development
While discussing advantages and implications, try to develop your arguments further with deeper analysis or a wider range of examples.
Language use
Pay attention to repeating words or phrases and try to use synonyms or rephrase sentences to improve variety in language.
Task Response
Consider revisiting the prompt to fully address all parts of the question, including the potential problems for libraries, to enhance task achievement.
Structure
You've presented a coherent structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Content Understanding
Your essay provides a balance between the benefits of ebooks and the ongoing value of libraries, showcasing an understanding of the topic.
Examples
The use of examples, such as the impact of ebooks on students and the preferences of older readers, effectively supports your points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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