Should the government or teachers be responsible for what is to be taught in schools? Give reason for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Children have presented societies with a number of challenges and decisions.
However
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, the crux of the matter is related to educating them toward the right path.
While
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some opine that the massive responsibility of providing the best curriculum for them is on the shoulders of the high-ranking officials, others argue principles are much more important in
this
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case. In my view,
although
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teachers play a crucial
in
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role in
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teaching pupils, the role of government is too important to be ignored. On the one hand, instructors are in charge of handling the learning environment all around the world. To clarify, students spend most of their time in educational institutions under the supervision of their professors, so they are the best people that we can count on to
recognize
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the learning demands of schoolchildren. They understand students based on their interests and background.
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, they can opt for different teaching methods for different characteristics.
On the other hand
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, equality goes a long way in the process of learning. If we allow instructors to choose the syllabus for teaching, we will face different ways of teaching in different parts of any country.
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, those who are living in the richest section benefit from a higher standard of teaching
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their informed principles compared to underprivileged areas, since in
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remote places, residents suffer much more wide-ranging issues,
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as a shortage of housing, a lack of electricity, and even poor hygiene, let alone access to a better standard of learning.
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, having easy access to equal education facilities is the right of everybody.
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, authorities should take
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responsibility to secure not only justice among school-goers but
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a united education community free from any troubles. In conclusion,
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teachers have a lot of effects on pupils and teaching, in my view, it is much better for the government to lead the educational system with the aim of preserving equality among children.

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grammar
Fix grammar errors and use simple, correct sentences. For example, 'although teachers play a crucial in teaching pupils' should be 'although teachers play a crucial role in teaching pupils'.
task response
Keep a clear stance and show link between idea and example. The essay shows a view on equality; add more direct link to the question and more concrete examples.
coherence
Improve flow between paragraphs. Use linking words like 'first', 'also', 'however', 'as well as' to make flow smooth.
vocabulary
Choose constant terms. The mix of 'teachers', 'instructors', 'government' can confuse the reader.
content
Clear view that government should play a bigger role to keep equality in education.
logic
Uses examples of rich vs poor areas to show why equal access matters.
structure
Has a real stance, not just lists pros and cons.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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