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Band 7

Subtleties of banking: understanding the interdependence of depositors and borrowers.

#subtleties #interdependence #depositors #borrowers
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To begin
 with, the world of banking is a complex and fascinating field that has long attracted the interest of individuals. At its core, a treasury's primary function is to serve two distinct groups of customers: those who want to save payments and those who want to borrow it.
However
, a person can belong to both categories.
This
 essay will argue that the interdependence of savers and defaulters is the foundation of the banking system, with each playing a vital role in the financial journey of the other.
First,
clients deposit their wages with a stock, which receives interest on the deposit amount.
As a result
, it provides an incentive to continue saving.
This
 interest serves as a reward for allowing the trust company to use its deposited funds for other purposes.
Thus
, depositors play a crucial role in providing the financial institution with the necessary banknotes to facilitate lending to borrowers.
Then
, the borrower, in turn, receives them to finance his projects, business, or personal needs.
Edditionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, the borrower's ability to repay the loan depends on the depositor's willingness to deposit his salary in the bank.
As a result
, the banking system largely depends on the interdependence of depositors and borrowers. In conclusion, we note that the interdependence of depositors and loaners is the cornerstone of the banking system thanks to savers providing needed money and defaulters using those funds to achieve their financial goals.
Therefore
, the treasury acts as an intermediary, facilitating the flow of funds between those who have excess capital and those who need financing.
Submitted by lioness1970 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Develop your ideas further with more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Be mindful of word choice to ensure accuracy. For example, using 'bank' instead of 'stock' or 'treasury', and 'depositors' instead of 'savers', and 'borrowers' instead of 'defaulters' or 'loaners'.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively introduced and concluded your essay, providing a clear overall position.
task achievement
You've articulated the interdependence between depositors and borrowers well, demonstrating an understanding of the banking system's operation.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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