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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people say that art subjects such as painting or drawing should not be made compulsory for high school students. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #art #subjects #school #students
As the environment is getting polluted by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
air and noise pollution, the world is shifting to electric
vehicles
 in order to reduce the pollution. Few people state that government subsidies should be given to the public to support them in purchasing electric
vehicles
. I do agree with
this
 statement and I will explain it in the next paragraphs.
To begin
 with, there are many benefits of battery-driven
vehicles
.
For example
, it is very light to use and easy to operate, everyone can drive it. It will help in reducing the noise and air pollution which is increasing day by day. It is very smooth to drive. Their maintenance costs are
also
 very low. Electric cars are useful for the planet Earth as it does not produce any exhaust emissions which harm our health. Electric
vehicles
 are cheaper than other
vehicles
 because individuals do not have to spend their money on fuel, diesel, or petrol.
That is
 why electric
vehicles
 are far more efficient than other types of
vehicles
. An array of masses suggests that battery-driven
vehicles
 are not good for the environment because it's not easy to dispose of the batteries after it is used. when we dispose of the batteries it produces harmful chemicals which is not good for
mother
Capitalize word
Mother
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 Earth. Others
also
 say that there
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 was a huge blast that occurred out of electric
vehicles
 in one of the Western countries and created a great scene across the world. These are some of the disadvantages that the population have faced in
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 few days but there are more advantages than disadvantages to look at. In conclusion, I will say that the government should provide discounts to people to encourage them to buy electric
vehicles
 because it will be beneficial to our earth in the long term rather than overlooking the disadvantages.
Submitted by jatinderpanaich328 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
It's appreciated how you structured your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, improving the link between ideas and paragraphs through more effective use of transitional phrases would enhance clarity and flow.
Task Achievement
Consider expanding your discussion with more varied and deeper examples to support your ideas for a richer argument.
Task Achievement
Ensure your essay directly addresses the prompt. You've shared valuable viewpoints on electric vehicles and pollution, but ensure to explicitly connect your arguments to the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Good use of an introduction and conclusion to frame your essay.
Task Achievement
Your main points are adequately supported by reasons and examples, showing a thoughtful approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • creativity
  • imagination
  • emotional intelligence
  • express themselves
  • compulsory
  • hidden talents
  • detract
  • core subjects
  • inclination
  • stressful
  • unproductive
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • universal appeal
  • cultural education
  • diverse backgrounds
  • standardized testing
  • academic performance
  • quality
  • creativity
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