In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people traveling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?
The development of
technologies
resulting
in solutions in many aspects to assist Wrong verb form
results
people
in their daily lives for instance
health care, transportations
and education. One of the Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
technologies
that help people
in transportation is automobile transportation which does not have a driver to commute. Furthermore
, these innovations might have pros and cons on a daily life basis. In terms of passenger safety due to
the malfunction of the system
, the advantage that provides passengers to reduce the stress driving
is untradeable. Change preposition
of driving
Thus
, I wholeheartedly disagree with this
innovation.
The aim of self-driving cars
is to travel at ease and provide people
with multitasking during traveling
. Travelers could enlarge their capabilities to do other business Change the spelling
travelling
due to
the fact that autonomous vehicles are equipped with incident prevention mechanisms to reduce the possibilities of unexpected tragedy such
as self-braking that enables the cars
to stop when detecting sudden objects.
On the other hand
, this
mechanism is like a two-edged sword that also
has cons. Over years after driverless technologies
in mobility commercial extensively, many incidents have been reported. A self-driving vehicle has sensors that detect the environment during commute, it prevents a sudden brake and reduces the possibilities of crashing with other cars
. However
, technologies
built by humans have the potential to give an error in their system
. Any malfunctions in the vehicles might occur, for
instance
the sensor failed to recognize other Add a comma
instance,
cars
and once the passengers are not aware, it enhances the possibility of unexpected incidents. This
incident occurred in a free-way
in Indonesia where a driverless car failed to recognize an object as another vehicle and a sudden Correct your spelling
freeway
maneuver
led the car Change the spelling
manoeuvre
crashing
through a barrier. Change the verb form
to crash
Thus
, it does not seem these technologies
are successfully fulfilling their aim for people
to travel at ease.
To sum up
, the purpose of a system
to automate the mobility of vehicles is to give more experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
for
passengers. Change preposition
to
However
, by seeing the possibilities of unexpected injuries that occur due to
the malfunction of the system
, it could be said that this
vehicle is not recommended for people
in terms of safety and needs further
improvement such
as enhancing sensor accuracy to recognize objects.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Be sure to address both advantages and disadvantages equally to provide a balanced view, especially when the prompt asks you for a comparative analysis.
Task Achievement
Work on developing a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses the prompt. This will help guide your argument and make your stance clear from the beginning.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to ensure your essay flows smoothly from one idea to the next. Using a wider variety of linking phrases can improve coherence.
Task Achievement
For a stronger argument, include more detailed examples and data to support your points. This enriches your essay and makes your argument more persuasive.
Task Achievement
You have effectively used specific examples, such as the incident in Indonesia, to support your argument. This helps to make your essay more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction of the topic and your concluding summary are clear, allowing the reader to understand your main points and reasoning.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.