IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Many
museums
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charge
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entrance
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 fees to the public,
while
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 others are completely free. Many individuals think that visiting
museums
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 is supposed to be free. In my opinion,
however
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, I believe there are more benefits for
museums
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 to
charge
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 for admission. Served as public spaces,
museums
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 have their own special significance to
people
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, and there are some advantages to opening for free.
For example
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,
people
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 with lower incomes can visit
museums
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 even if they don't have enough money. The cultural gap between rich and poor can
therefore
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 be narrowed. It will
also
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 encourage more residents to visit
museums
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 and experience their cultural heritage,
thus
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 improving local
people
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's sense of belonging.
Moreover
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, more tourists from other countries will visit
museums
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 if the places are available for free. It can stimulate the cultural interactions between different nations. Acknowledging free opening does have some benefits, but there are more advantages for
museums
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 to
charge
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 for admission.
Firstly
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, the
entrance
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 fee can be a steady source of income and
thus
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museums
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 can offer better quality of content.
Secondly
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, governments can utilize more advanced techniques to preserve things displayed in
museums
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 because using these techniques usually requires lots of money.
As a result
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, the antiquities can be well-protected without imposing high taxes on local
people
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.
Finally
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, it can effectively deter thefts, with the thieves more likely to be discouraged by the rise of the
entrance
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 threshold. In conclusion, I can understand why some
people
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 think that
museums
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 should be opened for free, but it seems more beneficial to me that
museums
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 should
charge
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 some reasonable
entrance
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 fee.

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure a clear distinction between paragraphs to improve readability and organization.
Coherence & Cohesion
Integrate more varied and complex sentence structures to enhance fluency and cohesion.
Task Achievement
While your argument is well-presented, incorporating more specific examples could further strengthen your task response.
Task Achievement
Clarify and expand upon your examples to make your argument more compelling and grounded in real-world contexts.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, effectively framing your essay's argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
You have provided a well-structured argument, making your position clear and understandable.
Task Achievement
You have done well to cover both sides of the argument, which is essential for a balanced response.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
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