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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #people #products #world #development
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Some
people
 argue there is an increasing similarity between different nations because the same products could be bought worldwide, and view
this
 trend negatively. In my opinion,
however
, I strongly agree that it is a positive phenomenon because it is beneficial to human society from an
overall
 aspect. To be able to see many similar products anywhere definitely has some disadvantages for
people
.
Firstly
, the boundaries between
countries
 will be diminished, which means that there must be a decline in the sense of belonging to
countries
 among
people
 globally.
Secondly
, many local businesses will find it more difficult to survive because the emergence of the international trade system can lead to much more competitive markets.
For example
, the rise of well-known fast-food brands,
such
 as Burger King, KFC, and Mos Burger, has led to many local restaurants exiting the market.
Finally
, it will be extremely dangerous if some products contain harmful or toxic ingredients because these commodities are sold worldwide and are arduous to regulate appropriately.
However
, there are many advantages in terms of
this
 topic.
Countries
 becoming similar makes our daily life more convenient. We can buy things on the e-commerce platform without going to shop physically and have the same product
using
Verb problem
apply
show examples
experience as
people
 who live in other
countries
.
Moreover
, the development of international trade can create more job opportunities, which can absolutely lower the level of the gap between rich and poor.
Furthermore
, with the nations becoming more and more identical,
people
 can easily share their ideas or thoughts with others from different backgrounds.
As a result
, the interaction between different groups will be improved and accelerated. In conclusion,
although
 the phenomenon of
countries
 becoming similar does have some drawbacks, I believe the benefits it generates outweigh the drawbacks.
Submitted by arthur752102 on

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Structure
Continue to maintain a clear structure in your essays, which includes well-defined introductions, body paragraphs, and conclusions.
Examples
Make sure to include specific examples to support your main points. While you have done this to some extent, further detail and development could enrich your argument.
Balance and Argumentation
Consider exploring both sides of the argument in depth, as this can provide a more balanced discussion. However, ensure that your own stance remains clear throughout the essay.
Structure
Your essay has a clear logical structure, making it easy to follow.
Introduction & Conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively encapsulate your main points and stance.
Clarity and Comprehensiveness
You provided clear, comprehensive ideas that supported your argument throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
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