For some people, shopping is not just about buying what is necessary, but is a form of entertainment. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#people #form #entertainment #development

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In contemporary society, shopping has evolved beyond a mere act of acquiring necessities; for many, it has become a form of

entertainment

While

this

phenomenon has both positive and negative implications, I contend that its impact largely depends on individual perspectives and

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

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. On the positive side, viewing shopping as

entertainment

can contribute to economic growth. Consumer spending drives demand, stimulating production and employment opportunities.

Additionally

, the retail sector thrives, offering diverse choices and experiences to consumers. For some, the act of browsing through stores, trying on various items, and making purchases

provides

Change the verb form

provide

show examples

a sense of enjoyment and

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

, akin to participating in recreational activities.

This

can enhance

overall

well-being by alleviating stress and fostering social interactions, especially when shopping is done with friends or family.

However

, there are

also

negative aspects to consider. Excessive shopping for

entertainment

purposes can lead to financial strain and debt accumulation. Impulsive buying, influenced by marketing strategies and societal pressures, may result in overspending on items that are unnecessary or even detrimental to one's financial health.

Moreover

, the culture of consumerism fueled by

entertainment

-oriented shopping can contribute to environmental degradation through increased waste generation and resource depletion. In conclusion,

while

the transformation of shopping into a form of

entertainment

has both positive and negative ramifications, its

overall

impact varies depending on individual choices and societal norms. To mitigate the negative effects, consumers should cultivate mindful shopping habits, focusing on genuine needs rather than fleeting desires.

Likewise

, policymakers and businesses have a role to play in promoting sustainable consumption practices and ethical marketing strategies. Ultimately, striking a balance between the enjoyment derived from shopping and its responsible practice is essential for fostering a healthier and more sustainable consumer culture.

Submitted by gunawankohan on Wed May 01 2024

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task achievement

Integrate specific examples to support your arguments. Including real-life instances or statistical data can enhance the validity and persuasiveness of your points.

coherence cohesion

Consider using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

While your essay is well-structured, working on paragraph transitions could make the flow of ideas smoother, further enhancing readability.

task achievement

Your essay provides a thoughtful analysis of both sides of the argument, recognizing the complexity of the issue.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are both clearly articulated, effectively framing the discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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For some people, shopping is not just about buying what is necessary, but is a form of entertainment. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want. Is this a good way to raise children? What consequences could this style of parenting have on children as they get older?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?