For some people, shopping is not just about buying what is necessary, but is a form of entertainment. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In contemporary society, shopping has evolved beyond a mere act of acquiring necessities; for many, it has become a form of
entertainment
.
While
this
phenomenon has both positive and negative implications, I contend that its impact largely depends on individual perspectives and
behaviors
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behaviours
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. On the positive side, viewing shopping as
entertainment
can contribute to economic growth. Consumer spending drives demand, stimulating production and employment opportunities.
Additionally
, the retail sector thrives, offering diverse choices and experiences to consumers. For some, the act of browsing through stores, trying on various items, and making purchases
provides
Change the verb form
provide
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a sense of enjoyment and
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
, akin to participating in recreational activities.
This
can enhance
overall
well-being by alleviating stress and fostering social interactions, especially when shopping is done with friends or family.
However
, there are
also
negative aspects to consider. Excessive shopping for
entertainment
purposes can lead to financial strain and debt accumulation. Impulsive buying, influenced by marketing strategies and societal pressures, may result in overspending on items that are unnecessary or even detrimental to one's financial health.
Moreover
, the culture of consumerism fueled by
entertainment
-oriented shopping can contribute to environmental degradation through increased waste generation and resource depletion. In conclusion,
while
the transformation of shopping into a form of
entertainment
has both positive and negative ramifications, its
overall
impact varies depending on individual choices and societal norms. To mitigate the negative effects, consumers should cultivate mindful shopping habits, focusing on genuine needs rather than fleeting desires.
Likewise
, policymakers and businesses have a role to play in promoting sustainable consumption practices and ethical marketing strategies. Ultimately, striking a balance between the enjoyment derived from shopping and its responsible practice is essential for fostering a healthier and more sustainable consumer culture.
Submitted by gunawankohan on

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task achievement
Integrate specific examples to support your arguments. Including real-life instances or statistical data can enhance the validity and persuasiveness of your points.
coherence cohesion
Consider using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is well-structured, working on paragraph transitions could make the flow of ideas smoother, further enhancing readability.
task achievement
Your essay provides a thoughtful analysis of both sides of the argument, recognizing the complexity of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both clearly articulated, effectively framing the discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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