Advertising is becoming more and more common in everyday life. Is it a positive or negative development?

These days more companies are presenting their products through advertising, and
this
development holds many positive and negative effects. In
this
report, I will go through both views
,
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apply
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and
then
allow me to share my position. Advertising is helpful, profitable, and strategic;
as a consequence
, many dealers ask influencers to publish their outcomes.
This
way helped customers to increase their awareness about a variety of shops, and brands. For
further
explanation, a survey illustrated that the majority of people knew various facilities by watching advertisements.
Also
, through them, customers can easily compare the benefits of different products.
In which
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Which
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, each influencer concentrates on the advantages of the product, so comparing them becomes easier than asking each facility about its outputs or asking surrounding people about their experiences.
Although
the points mentioned above are strong, there are opposite points which hold equal strength. Being dishonest is one of the disadvantages of advertisements.
For example
, a study showed that a lot of influencers lie when it comes to the disadvantages, and they try to mention the positives
while
ignoring the negatives.
Moreover
, for advertising purposes, sellers are attacking privacy.
For example
, many articles said that companies record their customers' voices
as well as
can see their chats so that they can attack them with their favourite products.
This
method is bothering a lot of consumers, as a survey captured that a lot of humankind felt annoyed when they recognized that. In conclusion, despite the variety of negatives of advertisements, it holds more positive impacts.
Therefore
, I believe that advertising is a positive development.
Submitted by haneenalnetaif on

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Structure
It's great how you structured your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion where you stated your position. Continue using this structured approach for clarity and effectiveness.
Specific Examples
To improve your task achievement, consider adding more specific examples to support your arguments. Real-world data or studies, even if hypothetical, can make your points more compelling.
Linking Words
In the coherence and cohesion aspect, try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more seamlessly. While your essay flows well, varying your connectors can enhance readability and cohesion.
Tone
Pay attention to maintaining a formal tone throughout your essay. Avoid colloquial expressions and ensure that your language is consistently academic and appropriate for an IELTS essay.
Balanced View
Your essay presents a balanced view by examining both the advantages and disadvantages of advertising, which is excellent for the task response.
Effective Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your stance, reinforcing your argument to the reader. Concluding paragraphs are essential for a strong essay closure.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • promote
  • economic growth
  • provide information
  • awareness
  • job opportunities
  • manipulative
  • misleading
  • consumerism
  • materialism
  • invade
  • personal space
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