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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

To meet the growing needs of food for the increasing population, country should make use of genetically engineered foods. However, some people believe that GM foods are not unhealthy but affect the nature too. Do you think the advantages of GM food outweigh the drawbacks?

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The increasing population has caused a growing need for
food
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, and the country should adopt genetically modified foods.
However
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, some claim that it is an unhealthy approach and negatively affects nature. In my opinion, I believe that genetically modified
food
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 can bring about more advantages for society compared to any problems it might cause. Despite the drawbacks mentioned below, I believe that the benefits gained from genetically modified
food
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 are extremely useful.
Firstly
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, farmers can produce
crops
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 that grow faster and larger.
In other words
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, they do not have to wait a long time to harvest
crops
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, which allows them to plant more.
For example
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, they can provide many fruits and vegetables in a short period.
As a result
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, society benefits from a greater supply of vegetables and fruits
while
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 the population continues to grow.
Secondly
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, genetically modified
crops
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 are more resistant to diseases and insects, which improves their quality.
Hence
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, they look better and are more attractive to customers. Admittedly, there are some issues involved when
people
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 rely on genetically modified
food
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. One problem is that organic farming may be slower and more expensive.
That is
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 to say, it is not available year-round, and poor
people
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 may not be able to afford it.
For instance
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, dates can grow only in hot climates,
such
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 as Saudi Arabia, and are not available in colder countries.
As a result
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, they become expensive when exported. Another issue is that
people
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 are uncertain whether genetically modified
food
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 is healthy or not.
This
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 type of
food
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 does not have enough scientific research to support its safety, so
people
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 are
skeptical
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sceptical
show examples
 about consuming it. Some even believe that it may lead to serious health issues,
such
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 as cancer.
To sum up
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, helping farmers produce fast-growing
crops
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 that are resistant to insects and diseases far outweighs any minor drawbacks that could result from genetically modified
food
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.

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task achievement
You could provide specific examples of genetically modified crops to strengthen your arguments further. Additionally, addressing counterarguments more thoroughly could enhance the depth of your response.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using more varied linking words to improve the flow between your ideas. This will help make your essay more cohesive.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively present your stance on the issue, providing a well-rounded discussion.
ideas
You effectively highlight the advantages of GM foods in your body paragraphs, presenting logical reasoning that supports your thesis.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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