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Band 6.5

In some countries, companies allow people to work from home. In others, people are still expected to work in an office. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#countries #companies #people #work #home #office
While
 employees are allowed to
work
 from
home
 in some states, it is observed that workers are employed in workplaces.
This
 essay will analyze both points of view and present my opinion on the subject. On the one hand, working from
home
 is much more comfortable as it provides us with more spare time. Commuting to
work
 can be time-consuming and make
people
 feel exhausted, on the ground that, some individuals’ accommodations are far from the place where they
work
, and it can take a lot of time to reach there.
In addition
,
while
 commuting, a great deal of energy is allocated to
this
,
however
, if
people
 are provided with working from
home
, they can consume their energy for other important activities,
such
 as engaging in physical activities.
On the other hand
, working in an office can be beneficial in some aspects.
For instance
, employees can improve their communication skills by face-to-face interaction with their mates.
Moreover
, collaborative
work
 is established there
Correct word choice
so that
show examples
that
Correct word choice
so that
show examples
 co-workers enhance the ability to
work
 together which is of paramount importance for them.
Furthermore
, in companies, co-workers and bosses are irreplaceable.
Hence
, sometimes
people
 can feel unrelaxed about their mates because they cannot choose them, being a serious problem for their mood and job satisfaction. In my opinion, the first viewpoint can be a better option, allowing conference calls and making
people
 design their
home
 office. Working online can be done by even a basic computer. To summarize, working in an office has some profitable sides, including the development of communication abilities, and working collaboratively.
However
, I think if an individual works from
home
 as a modern person, he or she will have much more free time for engagement, and decide what he or she does about a job.
Submitted by quluzadenurlan107 on

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Task Achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to illustrate your arguments, which could make your essay more convincing.
Task Achievement
To make your essay even stronger, you might explore balancing both views more thoroughly before stating your opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be mindful of maintaining a balance in discussing both views before presenting your opinion to ensure a comprehensive exploration of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay successfully introduces and concludes the topic, providing a clear structure that guides the reader through your arguments.
Task Achievement
You have done well in presenting clear and comprehensive ideas regarding working from home versus in an office.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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