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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some schools are incorporating homosexual lectures into their curricula. While some people think this is fine, others strongly oppose because it is potentially harmful for children. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Some schools are introducing lessons on homosexuality into their curricula.
While
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 some people believe
this
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 is acceptable and necessary, others strongly oppose it, arguing that
such
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 topics may be harmful to
children
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives and offer a personal opinion. On one hand, supporters argue that including lectures on homosexuality promotes tolerance, equality, and emotional well-being. Teaching
children
Use synonyms
 about different sexual orientations helps create a more inclusive environment, where students from LGBTQ+ backgrounds feel accepted and respected.
Furthermore
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,
such
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education
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 can help reduce bullying, challenge harmful stereotypes, and encourage empathy from an early age. From a broader social perspective, raising awareness about diversity prepares young people to live in a pluralistic and open-minded society.
On the other hand
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, opponents believe that exposing
children
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 to topics related to sexuality, especially at a young age, can be confusing or inappropriate. Some parents feel that
such
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 matters should be addressed at home
according to
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 personal, cultural, or religious beliefs. They
also
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 argue that early exposure might influence a child’s development or raise questions they are not yet emotionally ready to handle. In some conservative communities,
this
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 inclusion in school curricula is seen as promoting a specific ideology, which they view as an overreach of the
education
Use synonyms
 system. In my opinion, teaching about homosexuality in schools is a positive step when done appropriately and age-sensitively.
Education
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 should reflect the real world, and diverse sexual orientations are a part of modern society. As long as the content is respectful, age-appropriate, and open to discussion, it can contribute to building a more accepting and informed generation. In conclusion,
while
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 some believe that
such
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 lessons may negatively affect
children
Use synonyms
, others see them as a tool for creating empathy and awareness. I believe that, with the right approach,
this
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 type of
education
Use synonyms
 is both valuable and necessary.

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task achievement
Make sure to include more specific examples to support your ideas. This will make your arguments stronger and clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use linking words more to connect your ideas, such as 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally'. This will help your essay flow better.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your opinion, which is a great way to start your essay.
coherence and cohesion
You present both sides of the argument well, showing a good understanding of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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