IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Overpopulation in many major urban centres around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this problem be solved?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 living in major urban
centres
Use synonyms
 is increasing, which has become a big burden. The main reason for
this
Linking Words
 is the greater
number
Use synonyms
 of workplaces in the inner-city
centres
Use synonyms
, and a viable solution is to balance
this
Linking Words
 disparity by developing more employment opportunities in remote
areas
Use synonyms
. The amount of job opportunities with higher wages in borough centre
areas
Use synonyms
 is far more than in distant territories.
This
Linking Words
 results in better living conditions in
centres
Use synonyms
. Better housing and more income are what
people
Use synonyms
 are enticed by. They buy anything they would like and
also
Linking Words
 live in incredible settings.
As a result
Linking Words
, individuals are inclined to reside there. Whenever I get a chance to travel to an urban centre area, I always see remarkable edifices and homes,
people
Use synonyms
 being busy doing their work, and expensive cars. A solution that would prove successful is for the government to develop employment opportunities with reasonable remuneration outside urban hubs.
This
Linking Words
, in turn, would result in improved living conditions in these places;
people
Use synonyms
 may be less prone to migrate, helping to balance population distribution and alleviate the burden on major city
centres
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, in the city of Athens, the ministry realized what was the cause of overpopulation in the city’s cores.
That is
Linking Words
 why they added more workplaces in remote
areas
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 successfully resolved the issue; the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 in the urban centre and the outskirts started to balance out.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the major problem of overcrowded metropolitan
centres
Use synonyms
 stems from the imbalance of employment between these
centres
Use synonyms
 and the outskirts.
This
Linking Words
 issue can be partly alleviated by government action with some policies destined to increase the
number
Use synonyms
 of workplaces in suburban
areas
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on refining your transitions between ideas, ensuring that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. This will enhance overall coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Try to provide a more specific example or evidence to support your point. For instance, give statistical data or real-life scenarios.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, successfully framing the problem and solution.
task achievement
The response addresses all parts of the task, discussing both causes and potential solutions of overpopulation.
coherence cohesion
Complex sentences and varied vocabulary are used effectively throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay includes a good, specific example (Athens) which helps to elaborate on the solution proposed.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban centres
  • overpopulation
  • influx
  • economic opportunities
  • rural regions
  • quality of life
  • family planning
  • political instability
  • conflict
  • exacerbate
What to do next:
Look at other essays: