Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because more parents spent time at work than with their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer

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In today's world, many parents spend more

time

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at work rather than spending

time

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with their

children

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and

teenagers

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feel alone.

This

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essay totally agrees that young

people

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's social

problems

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have rapidly increased. There are several drawbacks to their academic life and mental health.

Firstly

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this

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negatively affects young

people

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's mental development.

For instance

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, many

teenagers

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spend

time

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with themselves at home because their parents work much more than usual because of that

children

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think that they are not loved by their families.

Also

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, youngsters can suffer from anxiety and depression, which negatively affects their personal life and they cannot be able to easily communicate with

people

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Therefore

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, if

children

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feel alone, their mental state can be affected in a negative way.

Secondly

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, young

people

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can be bad at school.

For example

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, if they are not mentally stable,

teenagers

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cannot study their lessons because they always think their family and

children

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cannot focus on lectures, and

as a result

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, they will get bad scores on exams.

Moreover

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, they cannot achieve their goals because they always struggle with

problems

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in the academy.

Thus

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, young

people

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's psychology affects their academic success. In conclusion, there are some serious

problems

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for young

people

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who cannot spend

time

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with their parents. It is clearly stated that spending

time

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at work rather than with their

children

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affects them in a bad way. If families do not change their behaviours, their offspring can spend their entire lives with mental

problems

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, they will take advice from psychology and maybe they can use antidepression when

teenagers

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grow up.

atakantemizkan0Wed May 01 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

To enhance coherence, aim for more varied transitional phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will help your essay flow even more smoothly, making it easier for the reader to follow.

Task Achievement

For task achievement, consider expanding your arguments with a wider range of examples and deeper analysis. This will help provide a more comprehensive view and strengthen your position.

Task Achievement

While your essay presents a strong stance, incorporating a brief discussion of the opposing viewpoint could add depth to your analysis, showcasing your ability to engage with different perspectives.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your introduction sets a clear premise for the essay, effectively guiding the reader to understand your viewpoint.

Task Achievement

You've successfully supported your main points with relevant examples and explanations, making your argumentation strong.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because more parents spent time at work than with their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Your opinion

Marriages are bigger and more expansive nowadays than in the past. Do the advantages of this overweigh the disadvantages?

It is important for foreigners to know something about the history and culture of the country they live in.’ Discuss. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspaper or books becasueb they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To waht extent do you agree or disagree?

You work for an international company and you need some time off to attend a family celebration. Write a letter to the company’s manager. In your letter: give details of the celebration explain the reason why you need time off suggest a way to have your work done during that time.