For some people, shopping is not just about buying what is necessary, but is a form of entertainment. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#people #form #entertainment #development

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Shopping is a renowned activity done by folks in

this

Linking Words

modern world.

However

Linking Words

, it introduces a lot of concerns depending on people's perspectives

while

Linking Words

having

this

Linking Words

trend among them.

Therefore

Linking Words

, visiting malls on a regular basis does not merely fulfil their needs and what they want meanwhile it is a way of enjoying their leisure moment.In

this

Linking Words

essay, my contention will be

further

Linking Words

elaborated with its merits or demerits

along with

Linking Words

a logical conclusion. Ostensibly,there are ample benefits for societies to have

this

Linking Words

scenario. The first and foremost one is it contributes to enhancing the community's development. To explain it, money used by crowds to buy different items could lead to a boost in the market growth of that country

as a consequence

Linking Words

it makes the natives economically and financially strong.

Secondly

Linking Words

, on behalf of the public's personal interests shopping could assist them reduce their stress and enjoying their pace

while

Linking Words

they are on their way to shopping centres to persuade it.

As a result

Linking Words

, it is a kind of recreational thing to spend occasion with families and friends.

However

Linking Words

, no doubt it could be great to spend hours and money on shopping but it has its drawbacks that should not be neglected.

This

Linking Words

notion brings more inclusion for middle-class nations

due to

Linking Words

the lack of their budget it can be more complicated for them to compete with high-standard societies in case of status issues.

Additionally

Linking Words

, society is wasting their savings

while

Linking Words

buying unnecessary goods.

This

Linking Words

money they can use on volunteer work by helping needy populations so they could able to survive well. In conclusion, I would like to say shopping is not a bad thing to do of course it could give joy to someone but there will be some limitations on it that should be imperative for the

overall

Linking Words

country's success and development.

Submitted by kaurbhagwant95 on Thu May 02 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure a clearer, more explicit thesis statement that directly addresses the question of whether shopping as entertainment is positive or negative.

task achievement

Increase specificity and relevance of examples to strengthen arguments and task response.

coherence cohesion

Improve sentence structure and punctuation to aid reading flow and coherence.

coherence cohesion

Use more cohesive devices and clearer paragraphing to link ideas smoothly across the essay.

task achievement

Engages with the topic providing both sides of the argument, acknowledging complexities.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, framing the essay effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or exercise class. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?
Countries are seeing an increased number of people hiring personal fitness trainers, as opposed to engaging themselves in sports and exercise classes, the reasons are possibly multifaceted and this development has potentially both positive and negative turns depending on the specific individual's tailored needs, my personal opinon leans towards possible benefits as opposed to less disadvantages.
8
band
Write a letter to your former teacher. In your letter Explain how you heard about his/her retirement Describe what made him/her such a great teacher Say how your teacher affected your life
I hope this letter finds you well. I am Brady Akl, one of your former students. I am writing to express my heartful gratitude for your wonderful role. First, I wish you a happy retirement and best wishes for your future. I met our school principal yesterday; he told me you are retiring after ten years of an amazing journey.
6.5
band
you have seen an advertisement from a couple who live in Australia, for someone to trach their children your language for a year write a letter to the couple. in your letter explain why you think you would be suitable for the job say what else you could do for the family give your reasons for writing the job
I am writing this letter to express my desire to teach your children my language for a year if you do not mind.
8
band
Art claseses, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today's ever-progressing era, it is believed that craft subjects are regarded as pivotal as other major intellectual specialities to the advancement of a child, thereby it must be included in high schools. From the writer’s experience, professional classes should be legally seen as a major subject due to the lucrative impact on boosting creativity and playing an indispensable role in the improvement of the child.
7
band
In many societies around the world, the population is rapidly aging, and this is leading to unsustainable increases in the cost of public health. The population of the country must pay for their own medical care in the future. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?
These days countries’ populations are getting old and creating problems in terms of finances for treatment, in addition, individuals may be required to cover a greater portion of their medical costs in the future. I totally agree with this statement because as the population ages, the demand for Healthcare services increases and the costs associated with providing these services also rise.

For some people, shopping is not just about buying what is necessary, but is a form of entertainment. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or exercise class. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Write a letter to your former teacher. In your letter Explain how you heard about his/her retirement Describe what made him/her such a great teacher Say how your teacher affected your life

Art claseses, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many societies around the world, the population is rapidly aging, and this is leading to unsustainable increases in the cost of public health. The population of the country must pay for their own medical care in the future. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?