For some people, shopping is not just about buying what is necessary, but is a form of entertainment. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#people #form #entertainment #development

Shopping is a renowned activity done by folks in

this

modern world.

However

, it introduces a lot of concerns depending on people's perspectives

while

having

this

trend among them.

Therefore

, visiting malls on a regular basis does not merely fulfil their needs and what they want meanwhile it is a way of enjoying their leisure moment.In

this

essay, my contention will be

further

elaborated with its merits or demerits

along with

a logical conclusion. Ostensibly,there are ample benefits for societies to have

this

scenario. The first and foremost one is it contributes to enhancing the community's development. To explain it, money used by crowds to buy different items could lead to a boost in the market growth of that country

as a consequence

it makes the natives economically and financially strong.

Secondly

, on behalf of the public's personal interests shopping could assist them reduce their stress and enjoying their pace

while

they are on their way to shopping centres to persuade it.

As a result

, it is a kind of recreational thing to spend occasion with families and friends.

However

, no doubt it could be great to spend hours and money on shopping but it has its drawbacks that should not be neglected.

This

notion brings more inclusion for middle-class nations

due to

the lack of their budget it can be more complicated for them to compete with high-standard societies in case of status issues.

Additionally

, society is wasting their savings

while

buying unnecessary goods.

This

money they can use on volunteer work by helping needy populations so they could able to survive well. In conclusion, I would like to say shopping is not a bad thing to do of course it could give joy to someone but there will be some limitations on it that should be imperative for the

overall

country's success and development.

Submitted by kaurbhagwant95 on Thu May 02 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure a clearer, more explicit thesis statement that directly addresses the question of whether shopping as entertainment is positive or negative.

task achievement

Increase specificity and relevance of examples to strengthen arguments and task response.

coherence cohesion

Improve sentence structure and punctuation to aid reading flow and coherence.

coherence cohesion

Use more cohesive devices and clearer paragraphing to link ideas smoothly across the essay.

task achievement

Engages with the topic providing both sides of the argument, acknowledging complexities.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, framing the essay effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
The bar shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on diﬀerent days. Write at least 150 words.
This diagram compares the amount of people going to the cinema each day of the week throughout the years. Overall, throughout the years there has not been significant change in the most popular days to go to the movie theater which were Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays.
4.5
band
Scientists predict in the near future cars will be driven by computers, not people. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
In' today modern life, technology developts so quickly, some scientists believe that in the near future cars will run without to need driver because of control of computers. Although this situation has some positives, in my opinion, the negative are greater.
6.5
band
In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
Numerous students prefer while they study, they should live at home with their parents. On the other hand, many students like to go, out of the city for the sake of their education because they find more opportunities in another city. In my view, the drawbacks of living away from their home outweigh the benefits and I will provide relevant arguments related to my claim in the given paragraphs.
4.5
band
Is it good for children to start using computers from an early age and spend long hours on them? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.
Today children spend a lot of time for computer working like studying, playing and so on. Although some child psychologists undoubtedly believe that is beneficial, the others say that it might be devastating. While this offers a few advantages, there are also some disadvantages worth considering.
5.5
band
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.   Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is no doubt that economy plays a crucial role in developing a country. However, while lots of governments believe that advances should be geared exclusively towards economic, I would agree with those who argue that making progress in other aspects are just as vital for the nation.

For some people, shopping is not just about buying what is necessary, but is a form of entertainment. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The bar shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on diﬀerent days. Write at least 150 words.

Scientists predict in the near future cars will be driven by computers, not people. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Is it good for children to start using computers from an early age and spend long hours on them? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.   Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.