IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Students should be completely free to choose whether to study or play games. They should be allowed to manage their own time. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.

#students #study #games #time #support #position
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Managing students'
time
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 has become a widely debated issue recently. On the one hand, some
parents
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 believe that
children
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 should have complete freedom to decide whether to study or play games.
On the other hand
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, others argue that it is the
Use synonyms
parents'
Correct your spelling
parent's
show examples
 role to step in and manage their child's schedule. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both sides of the view and present my opinion.
To begin
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 with, some individuals think that
children
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 have the ability to manage their own
time
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.
Therefore
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, they should decide what to do with their
time
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.
This
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 freedom provides them with more confidence, which boosts their ability to make decisions.
Accordingly
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, they will learn more about
time
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 management, leading to a more responsible personality.
Moreover
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,
this
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 trust strengthens the bond between
parents
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 and
children
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, resulting in a stronger and more powerful relationship.
For example
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, studies have shown that a significant number of successful managers were independent since childhood. On the other side, other people suggest that it is the
parents
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' responsibility to guide their
children
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. The reason for
this
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 is that
parents
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 have more experience in life.
This
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 experience is a powerful tool that guides
children
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 to a better future.
Consequently
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, their
children
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 will have a brighter future.
For instance
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, Korean students study around 8 to 10 hours a day on average, starting from primary school, which contributes to their academic success.
To sum up
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, there are different points of view about how much
parents
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 should be involved in their
children
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's schedule. In my opinion, I believe that youngsters should decide how to manage their
time
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 in order to be more successful in the future.
Submitted by shereenmagdy1993g on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your claims, particularly in discussing the benefits of children managing their own time.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all main points are supported by evidence or examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps structure the argument well.
task achievement
Both sides of the argument are presented, demonstrating a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow from one point to another is mostly smooth and coherent.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • autonomy
  • self-discipline
  • prioritization
  • structured schedule
  • academic performance
  • educational opportunities
  • motivation
  • rigid timetable
  • engagement
  • parental guidance
  • institutional guidance
  • structured flexibility
  • educational objectives
  • creativity
  • innovation
  • traditional curricula
What to do next:
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