IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You are going on holiday next week and you need to ask your friend to watch your dog while you are away. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, • state how long you will be away • tell them what needs to be done • state how you will compensate them

#holiday #week #friend #dog
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Dear Sara, How have you been? My holiday will start next week and I’m going to Tehran for
holiday
Correct article usage
a holiday
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. Despite searching before, my
dog
 isn’t able to get
along with
 me.
Due to
 the fact that I thought I asked you a huge
favor
Change the spelling
favour
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 to look after my
dog
while
 I am in Tehran. My
dog
 is a female
dog
 and its name is Kaya. Kaya is a quiet
dog
 and has long black hair. You should usually brush her
hairs
Fix the agreement mistake
hair
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 and trim
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
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. She is fond of pop music tracks and watching musical movies. She isn’t batter for eating. She is keen on fish and poultry,
however
 she hates eating beef and clams. Sorry about the hustle. I bet having arrived
Tehran
Change preposition
in Tehran
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, I’ll sort out your letters, E-mails and books,
moreover
 I would repair your car and printer.
In addition
, I’ll think of other
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 to repay your kindness in future. Thanks a million in advance. Best wishes, Ma
Submitted by kargar.mh1992 on

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task achievement
Consider rephrasing 'my dog isn’t able to get along with me' to something clearer, like 'I cannot take my dog with me.'
coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, make sure each paragraph covers one main idea. For example, move details about Kaya's preferences into a separate paragraph.
task achievement
The letter has a clear and friendly tone, suitable for the audience.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are appropriate for a friendly letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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