Nowadays more and more people are using cellphones and computers to communicate, so they are losing the ability to communicate with each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Today is known as the era of advanced technology. From
this
aspect, questions about whether
individuals
are using
cellphones
Correct your spelling
cell phones
show examples
and computers to communicate, so they are losing the ability to communicate with each other in person arise. In my opinion, the public
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
losing their face-to-face
communication
ability to some extent. Irrefutably,
individuals
utilise alternative
communication
methods.
This
is because, unlike
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
past, cell phones and computers provide convenient functions which are various emojis, texting, and attaching files.
This
obviously allows those who use digital devices to easily understand each other and
this
in turn results in saving a great deal of time and effort. What is more,
although
the convenience of digital
communication
cannot be overlooked, the public
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
a reduction in face-to-face
communication
opportunities. In actual fact, social studies undertaken by experts revealed that a majority of companies implement remote work and schools adopt video education
instead
of attending class, so those who follow non-contact society are likely to miss face-to-face
communication
skills,
such
as emotional reactions, the atmosphere of conversation, and abundant expressions.
Nevertheless
, digital
communication
enhances language adaptation.
In other words
, since
individuals
highly utilise their cell phones and computers to communicate with social friends, they can easily share their opinions associated with social trends using SNS channels,
such
as Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok, so they would learn about trendy expressions and various perspectives
while
digital
communication
. To recapitulate, digital
communication
enhances language adaptation, but
individuals
utilise alternative
communication
methods and the public experience a reduction in face-to-face
communication
opportunities.
Thus
, the public
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
losing their face-to-face
communication
ability.
Submitted by subin12260 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
You presented a clear argument throughout the essay with a logical flow. However, try to enhance logical connections between ideas with more varied transitional phrases.
Task Achievement
Providing more detailed examples could strengthen your arguments and offer clearer insights, enhancing the task achievement score.
Introduction & Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-defined, clearly stating your opinion. Continuing to maintain this clarity throughout your essay will always serve you well.
Supporting Information
Consider developing your paragraphs with more detailed examples or evidence to support your points. This depth can make your argument more convincing.
Structure
Your essay logically progresses from introducing the topic to presenting arguments and concluding. This structure aids in effectively communicating your ideas.
Vocabulary Use
You successfully used technology-related vocabulary and phrases to clearly express your ideas, showcasing your ability to discuss modern topics.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: