These days, more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adults. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, an increasing number of individuals relocate from their birthplace and childhood home once they reach adulthood.
While
there are some drawbacks,
such
as cultural displacement and loss of identity, I believe the main benefits,
for instance
, educational prospects and economic opportunities are more substantial. On the one hand, a potential disadvantage of these days, more and more people move away from the area where they were born and brought up when they become adults may be overpopulation in cities, which can lead to increased pollution and living costs.
For example
, cities like Delhi and Tehran have faced severe air quality issues as their populations have surged, leading to smog and health problems. Another perceived negative is the loss of traditional family support systems.
For instance
, someone who relocates for work or education may no longer have close family members nearby to help with childcare, offer advice, or provide moral support during tough times.
On the other hand
, a primary advantage of recent times a growing number of people relocate from their hometowns and places of upbringing once they reach adulthood is which leads to greater independence and self-reliance.
For example
, a student who relocates to a new city for university may need to handle daily responsibilities
such
as budgeting, cooking, and managing time on their own. A
further
benefit is that exposure to diverse cultures enhances personal growth.
For instance
, when someone moves to a multicultural city or travels abroad, they encounter new customs, languages, and ways of thinking. On balance, it is true that nowadays, an increasing number of individuals relocate from their birthplace and childhood home once they reach adulthood would seem disadvantageous under certain circumstances.
However
, in my view, its positive effects in terms of having educational prospects and economic opportunities override the disadvantages.
Submitted by aliaghanjd74 on

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task achievement
Your essay would benefit from a more explicit statement of your opinion in the introduction, ensuring your position is consistently clear throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Strive for more seamless transitions between ideas, enhancing the logical flow from paragraph to paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with repetitiveness in your wording. Varied vocabulary can elevate the clarity and engagement of your writing.
task achievement
Your essay has clear examples that are relevant and specific, which strengthens your points.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, giving the essay a structured framework.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported well with explanations and examples, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • metropolitan
  • migration
  • globalization
  • socio-economic factors
  • traditional norms
  • cosmopolitan environment
  • brain drain
  • assimilation
  • gentrification
  • alienation
  • multiculturalism
  • infrastructure strain
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