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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people say that universities should only be offered to young students with high marks,others say that they should accept people of all ages,even if they did not do well.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some argue that the educational institution should be only for acknowledgement with the high stream.
while
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 others don't agree and say that educational institutions should be for everyone including those of different ages even if they might not be perfect. Recently, individuals have believed that an institute should be accepted
acknowledgment
Change the spelling
acknowledgement
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 with a high pathway. Enlistment with high pathways provides the country with a bright future with
such
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 advanced technology.
For example
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, admissions who have high aisle might study hard and practice different technologies with multiple software.
Furthermore
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, acknowledgement with better results might have several skills which are crucial for different aspects of society.
For instance
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, pupils with the best results in studies might have good interaction skills with society or may have better environmental knowledge which might help to work in society to raise awareness.
Therefore
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, it is worth it to allocate the boarding academy for high-result approval.
However
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, other populations argue that educational institutions should be for all enlistment of different ages. Studying at a boarding department provides people with various crucial advantages.
Firstly
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, when pupils go to an educational campus, they interact more with each other which provides them with the best social communication.
Secondly
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, studying at a boarding academy helps recruitment with their personal growth and provides them with more maturity.
For instance
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, when they are gathered they might share some personal ideas that can be positive for others who don't know about it.
However
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, their education result might not be good but still, but studying at an educational institution is still helpful for all recruitment.
To conclude
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, some argue that a boarding school just should be for acknowledgement with a high pathway.
While
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 others don't agree and say that universities have to be for all pupils of all age groups. In my opinion, it is better for all admissions should go to educational institutions including all ages and low pathways.

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Task Achievement
Try to directly address the essay question in your introduction to provide clear guidance on your stance.
Task Achievement
Enhance your argument by providing more concrete examples to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve clarity by separating your ideas into distinct paragraphs, ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using transitional phrases to create better flow between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
You have discussed both views as the question requested.
Task Achievement
You took a clear stance in your conclusion, which is good practice.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay structure includes an introduction, body, and conclusion which aids understanding.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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