Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters(such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.Discuss both views.

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In modern days, most people emphasize children's choices. Some individuals think that allowing

kids

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to decide their own everyday matters is good for them to become in a society of individuals who consider their self ideas.

Whereas

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others believe that it is crucial for

kids

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to make decisions about matters that influence them. I partly agree with these viewpoints. On the one hand, it is good for children to make a choice on their own.

Firstly

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, I completely believe that if

kids

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decide everyday matters, it will help

kids

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to trust their own decisions in the future.

Furthermore

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, making a chore for themselves will help not only the husband's opinion but

also

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it will help them to choose a partner in their future life.Because those

kids

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have already learnt the discrimination between wrong and right.

Moreover

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, they know how to make a choice to suit every condition.

Therefore

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, it will help them to cooperate with someone. Turning to the other side of

this

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argument to decide whether something affected by another's assertion is beneficial for

kids

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' next life. They can recognise reliable people if that person affects their decision correctly.

In addition

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, children who listen to their parent's wisdom or grandparents' behaviour tend to be obedient. And that

kids

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have the ability to pass on their own country's culture to the next generation.

Additionally

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, at an employment level, they can be a food worker in the workplace. Because they have already listened to others' words and

thus

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their teammates’ skills have been good.

To sum up

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, those two viewpoints have positive sides,

however

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, in my opinion, making choices for themselves usually helps their future life.

buyabuya201Thu May 02 2024

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Task Achievement

To enhance the score, provide more specific examples to support each viewpoint.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on linking sentences and ideas more smoothly within paragraphs for better flow.

Task Achievement

Consider a clearer statement of your personal opinion in the introduction or conclusion for stronger task response.

General

Review and correct minor grammatical errors to aid clarity.

Task Achievement

You introduced both views on the subject effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion

Good job on having a clear structure with separate paragraphs for each argument.

Task Achievement

You’ve demonstrated a balanced understanding by discussing both sides of the argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Autonomy
Consequence-awareness
Self-centered
Informal decision-making education
Child development
Age-appropriate choices
Cognitive growth
Fostering independence
Parental guidance
Societal norms
Interpersonal consideration
Balance of freedom
Individualism versus collectivism
Experience-based learning

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Housing is essential for people. Some argue that the government should offer free housing for people who cannot afford it. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? #people #argue #government #offer

Some people argue that the teenagers have lost moral values. What is your opinion?

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and polution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What ather measures do you think might be effective.