Everyday people suffer from illness related to stress. what are the causes and what could be the solutions.

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A lot of people are suffering from diseases that happen because of being under pressure. In
this
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report, I will present the reasons, and
then
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allow me to share some ideal solutions. Being stressed is harmful, useless, and uncomfortable.
Moreover
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, there are many factors that cause stress, and the most painful factor of them is family.
For example
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, a doctor said that a lot of patients acknowledged that their family was continuously comparing them with others;
as a consequence
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, their relatives gave them a big responsibility, which is being better than everyone.
Additionally
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, a lot of workers and students find it hard to deal with the demands of their spots. For
further
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explanation, a report indicated that the facilities, schools, and universities are giving their staff and students extremely hard tasks with limited time.
Therefore
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, many students and workers are suffering to protect their spots.
This
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is a significant problem, and finding a solution for it is a goal for many scientists.
Firstly
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, some experts recommended that policymakers put some rules that will protect anyone from being compared with others.
Secondly
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, a study showed that those who work in a relaxed and comfortable company are submitting higher quality tasks compared with those who used to have limited time, so companies and schools should stop bothering and hurting their staff by asking them to finish their work in a short period of time. In conclusion, being under pressure is a common problem these days and many people are trying to find a treatment;
however
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, people themselves are the reason for
this
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problem, so changing the way of acting with others might be the ideal solution.
Submitted by haneenalnetaif on

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Structure
Be sure to introduce more varied and complex sentence structures to express your points. This will enhance the readability and sophistication of your essay.
Content
Continue to develop your examples further to support your main points. Adding more depth and detail to your examples can strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
Task Response
Consider revising your introduction and conclusion to more directly address the essay prompt. Clearly stating the causes and solutions in both sections can make your essay more focused and impactful.
Tone
Maintain a formal tone throughout your essay. Avoid using colloquial expressions or overly simple language that can detract from the academic quality of your writing.
Understanding
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic, with relevant causes and solutions discussed.
Structure
You've done well to structure your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This organization aids in the reader's comprehension.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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