You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people believe that it is important to spend a lot of money on family celebrations. While others think it is a waste of money. Discuss both views. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 254 words.
In today's societ, there is an ongoing debate regarding celebration of events.
While
some opine spending heaps on their important days such
as birthdays and anniversaries are crucial. Other contend it as an utter wastage of resources and liquidity. This
essay will explore the contrasing prespective of both the parties
in subsequent paragraphs.
There is an old saying in Indian culture, "happiness enhances when shared with other". some people
feel utmost happiness and pleasure when they invite and spend huge amount of money
on their family celebrations. This
could be the reason for people
throwing lavish parties
and inviting so many people
to it. In addition
to that, status symbol could be another reason, some people
throw big parties
to maintain their status in the society, they throw big parties
and spend so much to make it succesfull. To exemply: recently richest man of India, Mukesk Ambani threw a pre- wedding party for his son by spending $5 Million dollars on it, being the richest man he has to maintain his dignity.
On other hand, the believer of latter statement contends, its wasteful to spend so much on such
celebrations rather, people
should put that money
in a noble cause or help society. It is often seen how many resources such
as food, elelctricty and water go to waste because of these events. For example
: an australian startup is spreading awareness worldwide, to come forward and put some portion of their marraige or other big celebration budget in their donation box, which will further
be donated to help people
fighting with cancer.
In conclusion, every human have their own decisions to make, putting money
in a good cause is essential for some. While
, for some spending large sums of money
to mantain their social status is more important.Submitted by vasudha.gupta0818 on
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Structure
Your essay provides a balanced view on the topic with examples. However, it could be improved by more carefully structuring your paragraphs and ideas to enhance clarity. Consider introducing each view distinctly and developing each argument with clear, separate paragraphs.
Accuracy
Work on spelling and typing errors ('societ', 'opine', 'contrasing', 'prespective', 'exemply', 'elelctricty'), as these can distract from your message. Although these don't severely impact your score, cleaner writing can make your argument stronger.
Variety
Including a broader range of sentence structures can make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency. Try to vary your sentence beginnings and use both complex and simple sentences.
Linking
To enhance coherence, link your ideas more clearly. Using phrases such as 'Furthermore', 'On the contrary', and 'For instance' before examples can make your argument more persuasive and easier to follow.
Support
Good use of examples to support your points, enhancing the persuasive element of your essay.
Task Response
You effectively covered both views on the topic, which meets the essay prompt requirements.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.