IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in Japan and Malaysia in the year 2010.
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The charts illustrate how households in
Malaysia
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 and Japan spent their money on five different categories in 2010. 
Overall
Linking Words
, the household expenditures were primarily allocated to Other goods and services in Japan and to Housing in
Malaysia
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. Meanwhile, Healthcare was the least favoured category in both countries. Housing took up 21% of Japanese household spending in 2010, significantly less than the figure for
Malaysia
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, standing at 34%.
Additionally
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, the amount of money
Japaneses
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Japanese
 expended on Healthcare and Transport doubled that of Malaysians, constituting 6% and 20% compared to 3% and 10%, respectively. Other goods and services made up 29% of the budget of Japanese families, 3% higher than the percentage allocated by Malaysian households.
Conversely
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, Food expenses constituted a smaller share in Japan at 24%, compared to 27% in
Malaysia
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words malaysia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household expenditures
  • proportion
  • cultural differences
  • economic differences
  • living standards
  • real estate market
  • public transportation
  • private transportation
  • infrastructure
  • government healthcare policies
  • quality of life
  • holistic view
  • inflation
  • economic growth
  • societal norms
  • globalization
  • communication expenses
  • education expenses
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