You and your family are living in rented accommodation in an English speaking country. You are not satisfied with the condition of some of the furniture. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter -introduce yourself -explain what is wrong with the furniture -say what action you would like the landlord to take Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ................. ,

#accommodation #english #country #condition #furniture #friend #-introduce #-explain #-say #action #landlord #addresses

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Dear Sara, I hope you are doing well with your new baby boy. I am sending

this

Linking Words

letter from Seattle, as I told you when we met at Sofia's party that I'm going with my husband and the twins to a luxury Cabin in the US. I have to tell you, the place is awful and I'm still very upset about the living

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

, especially the furniture. Can you

image

Replace the word

imagine

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I found bed bugs in one of the twins'

bed

Fix the agreement mistake

beds

show examples

Change the punctuation

show examples

it was pretty disgusting and we had to arrange for them to sleep on our bedroom floor.

Not to mention

Linking Words

the living room where the couch had wine stains all over it. Anyway, Since we arrived late at night we had to stay the night. now we are having breakfast in a nice coffee shop and I already wrote a very angry letter to the landlord asking him for an immediate full refund of the amount we paid or I will go to the police. Best Wishes, Khawla

Submitted by ph_yoyo on Thu Jun 20 2019

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Task Achievement

Although you have clearly mentioned the introduction about yourself in the letter, it is recommended to give clear issues about what is wrong with the furniture. Instead of mentioning bedbugs and wine stains separately, you can say 'The furniture is dirty and infested with bedbugs and stained which makes it unpleasant to use.' This will make your complaints more clear and structured.

Coherence and cohesion

The overall structure of your letter makes sense, however, try to connect your ideas more smoothly. Use linking words to create better coherence (e.g., moreover, furthermore, therefore).

Lexical resource

I would recommend using a wider range of vocabulary. Try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms and idioms to display a more advanced knowledge of the language.

Grammar

Your grammar usage is generally good, but there are a few slight errors (e.g., 'Can you image' should be 'Can you imagine'). Pay more attention to details and proofread your letter before submitting it.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

168 words

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In some countries the average weight to people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve the problem?

Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with the police or the military. Others think women are less suitable for this kind of job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. What might be the cases? What could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

6.It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote natural environment, such as the South Pole. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?