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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below present information about electricity generated using renewable and non-renewable energy in the United States in 2009 and 2019.

The charts below present information about electricity generated using renewable and non-renewable energy in the United States in 2009 and 2019.
#information #electricity #non-renewable #energy #states
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The given bar charts
represents
Change the verb form
represent
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 billions of
Use synonyms
kilowatt
Fix the agreement mistake
kilowatts
show examples
Use synonyms
electricity
Change preposition
of electricity
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 per
hours
Fix the agreement mistake
hour
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 generated by
energy
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sources
Use synonyms
 and renewable
energy
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sources
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 in the US in 2009 and 2019
Overall
Linking Words
, coal
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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produced the maximum
amount
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 of
energy
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 from all the
energy
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sources
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 in
both
Use synonyms
 the given periods.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is clearly seen from the first graph that there are five types of
sources
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 for generating
energy
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.
Further
Linking Words
,
electricity
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 generated by
petroleun
Correct your spelling
petroleum
 and nuclear
sources
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 were approximately equivalent in
Use synonyms
amount
Add an article
an amount
the amount
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 in
both
Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
years. Renewable
sources
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 of
energy
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had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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produced 437 and 720
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
kilowatt
Use synonyms
electricity
Use synonyms
 in 2009 and 2019. Apart from these, in the first given period natural gas
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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generated 921 billion
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kilowatt
Fix the agreement mistake
kilowatts
show examples
Use synonyms
electricity
Change preposition
of electricity
show examples
 which rose dramatically to 1582 in 2019 .
Moreover
Linking Words
, in
both
Use synonyms
 the given periods coal
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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generated the highest
amount
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 of
electricity
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as
Change preposition
apply
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1756 in 2009 and 966 in 2019 billion
kilowatt
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 .
Followed by
Wrong verb form
Following
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 these,
Change the noun form
renewable
show examples
renewables
Fix the agreement mistake
renewable
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
sources
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as geothermal and plant and
animal
Add an article
the animal
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 matter
Verb problem
apply
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had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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generated approximately
Correct article usage
the same
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same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
amount
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the solar and wind
sources
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had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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produced
small
Correct article usage
a small
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smount
Correct your spelling
amount
amounts
 of
electricity
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 compared to high figures after a decade .
Lastly
Linking Words
, 273 billion
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kilowatt
Change to a plural noun
kilowatts
show examples
 of
electricity
Use synonyms
 was generated by hydroelectric
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 in
both
Use synonyms
 years.
Submitted by akshayashvi07 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words kilowatt, electricity, energy, sources, amount, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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