IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that it is good for a country’s culture to broadcast foreign films and TV shows. Others, however, think it is best to produce local films and shows. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. forgin = more, learn local = support local, maintain tradition

#people #country’s #culture #broadcast #films #tv #forgin #support #tradition
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A conflict
have
Change the verb form
has
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 arisen between two beliefs; the first side
is supporting
Wrong verb form
supports
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 the idea of publishing foreign movies,
while
 the other side prefers local TV shows. In
this
 report, I will go through both sides
,
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apply
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 and
then
 allow me to share my point of view. Foreign films are international, educational, and unique;
as a consequence
, many
people
 prefer watching them.
Firstly
, they are helpful to learn about various cultures at the same time. For
further
 explanation, many
people
 acknowledged that when they watch a foreign
movie
 that
include
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includes
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 a variety of nationalities, they increase their knowledge about many customs.
Secondly
, watching a
movie
 from another country
more
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is more
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 attractive.
For example
, a survey showed that a lot of
people
 felt
boring
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bored
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 when they watched a film from their own culture.
Also
, a report showed that to attract humankind, directors need to show them something new because it is normal
in
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for
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 humans to not excel watching an ordinary
movie
 if a unique, unusual, and
extraodinary
Correct your spelling
extraordinary
movie
 is available.
Although
 the points mentioned above are strong, there are adverse points which hold equal strength. The first one is supporting local actors and actresses. For
further
 explanation, to make a successful TV show, directors need a local staff;
as a result
, many citizens will get a job and will be able to present their traditions correctly.
Besides
 that, creating
an
Correct article usage
apply
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attractive TV shows helps to maintain the culture.
For example
, reports indicate that because of technology, a lot of
people
 are losing and forgetting their customs
as well as
 some children are coping
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with others
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others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 traditions.
However
, making local movies will help
population
Add an article
the population
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 to remember and love their culture. In conclusion, there are merits and demerits of
the
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apply
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both sides, but I believe that the advantages of broadcasting local films surpass the disadvantages.
Submitted by haneenalnetaif on

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Task achievement
Try to expand your examples more specifically with detailed scenarios or statistics to clarify and support your arguments better.
Coherence and cohesion
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and typographical mistakes, as they can slightly hinder the clarity of your message. Proofreading can help reduce these.
Organization
Your essay is well-structured, presenting a clear introduction, balanced discussion of both views, and a summarized conclusion with your opinion, which is excellent for task response and coherence.
Language
You effectively use a range of vocabulary to express ideas, improving the quality and readability of the text.
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