IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some colleges encougage students to create businesses while they are still in school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#colleges #encougage #students #businesses #school #outweigh
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is a common belief that it is good for college and university
employment
Use synonyms
 programs to make their recruitment start businesses
while
Linking Words
 in school.
However
Linking Words
, there is a more persuasive argument that the disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
 outweigh the benefits.
This
Linking Words
 is because running
employment
Use synonyms
 can divert recruitment's attention away from the basic goal of higher education. On the one hand, trying to get
employment
Use synonyms
 off the ground
while
Linking Words
 still in college can help
admission
Use synonyms
 put their ideas into practice using theories presented during their classes.
This
Linking Words
 hands-on involvement offers the enlistment a more engaging way of learning.
For instance
Linking Words
,
enlistment
Replace the word
enlistees
show examples
 may be asked to write out an
employment
Use synonyms
 plan for a food truck in class, but they will not know whether it would actually be successful without trying to bring their idea to life. If they are encouraged to set up the
work
Use synonyms
, they will be able to see how to implement their plan and more easily gain practical knowledge that will be valuable in their future careers. Even though,
admission
Use synonyms
 would struggle to concentrate on their studies if universities made them create businesses. Starting a
work
Use synonyms
 involves a significant commitment of time and energy, which recruitment should be using to focus on studying.
According to
Linking Words
 recent research, it takes an average of two years to get
employment
Use synonyms
 up and running.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, managing successful
employment
Use synonyms
 is a full-time job, which usually requires people to
work
Use synonyms
 at least six hours per day.
admission
Use synonyms
 would be unable to dedicate that amount of time to their
employment
Use synonyms
 without neglecting their studies to some extent,
thus
Linking Words
 hindering their long-term professional development.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 there are some advantages to encouraging
admission
Use synonyms
 to start businesses as part of their studies, it is evident that there are far more disadvantages to forcing
admission
Use synonyms
 to go to
work
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 in college.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

clarity
Make sure to clearly define any specialized terms and avoid vague references like 'employment' when you actually mean 'business.'
support and evidence
Provide more concrete examples and evidence to support each point, which will strengthen your arguments and make them more compelling.
structure
The essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
conclusion
The conclusion successfully summarizes the main arguments presented in the essay, providing closure to the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: