More students travel abroad for further education. Do you believe the advantages of this experience are greater than the drawbacks associated with it?

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Some people suppose that migrating to another country for

further

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education might bring more benefits than drawbacks. In

this

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essay, I will examine both views and explain why the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand, people assert that studying abroad provides a better chance to improve students and their lives.

Firstly

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, emigration could force students to be independent and they had to cope with their work.

For example

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, when they leave their hometown, no one can help them cook or wash their dishes; so, they must do it independently.

Secondly

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, if they decide to migrate, they must learn another language. To exemplify, most international universities' teaching programs require the students to learn English;

thus

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, they are forced to be able to speak and write effectively in English.

On the other hand

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traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

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abroad

also

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has negative aspects,

such

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as paying high tuition.

For instance

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, the tuition to

enroll

Change the spelling

enrol

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at Australian universities in the computer science field for a master's degree is about 50,000 dollars per year,

besides

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renting a house and paying bills.

Moreover

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, they have to migrate alone which will cause homesickness and loneliness, and have to adopt a new lifestyle. To illustrate, Asian people usually eat much more rice than Europeans, so if you travel to

Europe

Correct article usage

a Europe

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country, you must accept their culture and eat less rice.

To conclude

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, I believe that the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages regarding learning foreign languages and being independent.

However

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, it depends on personality and budget.

Submitted by shahab.a on Fri May 03 2024

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Structure

Ensure a clear distinction between paragraphs to maintain logical flow and enhance readability.

Coherence

Use a wider range of linking words to better connect ideas and paragraphs.

Content Depth

Consider expanding on the impact of learning new languages and cultural adaptation on personal growth, to deepen the analysis.

Balance

Try to avoid overgeneralizations and include more nuanced arguments about the disadvantages, to provide a balanced view.

Grammar and Accuracy

Proofread your essay to eliminate minor grammatical mistakes for a polished presentation.

Content Balance

Your essay provides a comprehensive view on the topic, effectively discussing both sides.

Examples

The use of examples to support your points is effective, enhancing the persuasiveness of your essay.

Conclusion

Your conclusion nicely summarizes your viewpoint, stating why you believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

14
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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