IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that the only purpose of films is to entertain. Others say films should have educational value, discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #purpose #films #value
Currently,
people
 have different views as to whether a lot of
people
 believe that the only intention of
movies
 is to entertain
while
 some
people
 say that films should have academic value. Despite the fact that producing
movies
 related to education will be good for society, I believe that cinemas do not always have to create educational value. On the one hand, a good movie can affect many
people
, particularly children.
This
 is
due to
 the fact that in some countries, governments attempt to support the movie industry, and they hope that
movies
 should nurture morals to young
people
 in their countries.
For example
, some countries give film directors money to change the
story
 in the film or write laws to control the scope of the
story
.
As a result
, movie producers lack freedom in their work.
On the other hand
, the
story
 of the film is art, It should not have boundaries.
This
 is because
movies
 should tell every
story
 that they want to express in society.
For instance
, Some
movies
 tell stories regarding fantasy, but they do not have knowledge
while
 they have a lot of imagination and beautiful visualisation.
Moreover
,
movies
 want to present stories from various perspectives.
This
 is
due to
 the fact that
people
 can learn about real life from different views.
For example
, history films can present two sides both the dark side and the light side.
Therefore
,
people
 can understand various views. In conclusion, In my opinion, films do not need to relate to academic value because
movies
 can produce positive results on society on the other side for all the reasons I have mentioned above.
Submitted by name79sinlapa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Work on diversifying sentence structures and using a variety of complex grammatical forms to enhance clarity and expressiveness.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This helps to make your points more convincing and grounded in reality.
Coherence and cohesion.
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all parts of the essay are logically connected, to reinforce the overall structure and flow of your argument.
Task Achievement
You have effectively addressed both views on the role of films and clearly stated your opinion, demonstrating a good understanding of the task.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, successfully framing your argument and summarizing your stance.
Task Achievement
Good use of examples to illustrate your points, although more specificity could enhance your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!