Money is important in most people’s lives. Although some people think it is more important than others. What do you feel are the right uses of money? What other factors are important for a good life? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

#money #people’s #lives #people #right #factors #life

Currently,

money

is significant in the majority of

people

’s lives.

Although

many

people

think that it is more essential than others.

This

essay will express the comparison between two reasons for

this

situation. On the one hand,

money

can be used to buy necessary things in daily

life

This

due to

the fact that some

people

live in cities and depend on

Correct article usage

the

show examples

cost of living.

For example

, a high cost of living when

people

live in the capital city

while

people

rurals

Correct your spelling

rural

have a low cost of living.

As a result

, some

people

need to use a lot of

money

to take care of themselves and their families.

On the other hand

money

cannot buy something

such

as good health, mental health and

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

with other

people

This

is because these things,

people

have to make by themselves.

For instance

, if they want to be healthy, they have to exercise and play sports.

Moreover

, some activities have to be paid

Change preposition

for on

show examples

time but

Change preposition

with no

show examples

money

This

due to

the fact that many hobbies want to take a long time and

people

receive happiness in return.

For example

, some

people

travel for 5 days. It may take a long time but they are happy

while

they stay in there.

Therefore

money

is not always the most important in most

people

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. In conclusion, In my opinion,

money

is not the most essential in an individual

life

because it depends on a lot of reasons and factors in

personal

Correct article usage

a personal

show examples

life

Submitted by name79sinlapa on Fri May 03 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Try to maintain a clear structure throughout your essay with distinct paragraphs for each main point. Ensuring each paragraph follows logically from its introduction will enhance the clarity of your argument.

coherence cohesion

Include an introduction that clearly states your viewpoint and a conclusion that summarizes your argument, reinforcing your position on the topic.

task achievement

To improve task response, ensure your essay directly addresses all aspects of the prompt. Develop your ideas fully and provide more specific examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Work on varying your sentence structures and using a broader range of vocabulary to articulate your ideas more precisely and engagingly.

task achievement

You effectively discussed two contrasting views on the importance of money, providing a balanced perspective.

task achievement

Your examples are relevant, illustrating your points about the limitations and benefits of money.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

253 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because more parents spent time at work than with their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is thought by a selection of individuals that the younger generation these days causes more social problems as their parents mostly spend their time on working and do not stay with their offspring. From my perspective, I strongly agree with this notion and my supporting reasons will be outlined in the following paragraphs before reaching a conclusion.
<4
band
Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree ith this view.
The high authorities spend huge amount of capital on the arts rather than spending money on rising issues such as, poverty, global crisies and increasing crime rate. According to my opinion government should give more importance to current issue and invest capital on developing the nation.
7.5
band
Some people say that the Internet is bringing people together by making the world smaller. Do you agree that the Internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another?
In contemporary times, the Internet has made humans' lives become more convenient, especially in communication. In this essay, I agree with this development and contend that smartphones and some social media are the primary reasons, which cause modern society.
4.5
band
Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is i some children spent hourt the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development.
In digital era, overused on smartphones has become inevitable problem due to contant-update features and apps. That affects some children spending too many hours on their gadget everyday. If that is the case, I think the advancement of technology, mainly on smartphone is already being directed to negative development rather than positive one.
6
band
Some people think that space exploration can benefit humans in many aspects. Others think that it has many drawbacks. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Space exploration includes the use of science and space technology to explore outer space with rockets and high-tech robots. It is often thought that space study is advantageous to us in a lot of ways, whereas others claim that it brings us disadvantages. In my opinion, I consider that space research is very beneficial to everyone.

Money is important in most people’s lives. Although some people think it is more important than others. What do you feel are the right uses of money? What other factors are important for a good life? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays there is an increase in social problems involving young people because more parents spent time at work than with their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree ith this view.

Some people say that the Internet is bringing people together by making the world smaller. Do you agree that the Internet is making it easier for people to communicate with one another?

Some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. Why is i some children spent hourt the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development.

Some people think that space exploration can benefit humans in many aspects. Others think that it has many drawbacks. Discuss both views and give your opinion.