Life was better when technology was simpler. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that our days are getting more complex by developing many technologies. I disagree with
this
and strongly believe that smartphones have saved our time and the internet has improved education. From my point of view, modern smartphones have given us more free time and we do less work than earlier. It is easy nowadays to do tasks at the touch of a button. As an example,
people
used to write a letter, go to post,
then
send it to a receiver and wait for an answer much time. But nowadays, thanks to technology, all
people
can send a message and get an answer within seconds. Smartphones like the iPhone have provided us with many helpful tools
such
as qualitative cameras, sending messages, calling and watching beneficial programs.
Furthermore
, the internet has enriched education. Many
people
had to rely on a teacher and physical books to learn something new. They depended on the schedule or other circumstances in order to gain knowledge. But the advent of the internet has given us more useful information and we have become more independent and effective learners.
For example
, there are many online courses on social networks and platforms, like YouTube, where we can get a lot of information we need. Even there are online schools and universities, where
people
can upgrade their degree and knowledge whenever they want. In conclusion, I truly believe, that technology is making our life better and easier.
People
’s lives have changed significantly in good ways and technologies have provided us with a lot of benefits. Life was better when technology was simpler. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Submitted by kalelkkhana on

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Task Achievement
You provided a strong introduction and conclusion, clearly stating your viewpoint which is excellent for task achievement. To further improve, consider exploring contrasting viewpoints briefly to show a more balanced discussion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with clear paragraphs and logical progression of ideas, which greatly aids in coherence. Using a wider range of linking words could enhance the cohesion between ideas even further.
Task Achievement
Your use of relevant and specific examples to support your points is very effective and contributes to a high task achievement score.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and well-structured, providing a solid framework for your essay.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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