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Writing Samples
Band 7

People trend to travel longer distance nowadays than in the past. What are reason for this? Is this a positive or negative trend?

#people #trend #travel #distance #reason
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Nowadays, the trend for people to
trip
Verb problem
travel
show examples
 longer distances is higher than in the past. these events are coming for some reason.
this
 essay will elaborate on that issue. First of all, the reason for
this
 event increased significantly is because of the development technology of in public transport. in the past, we have to take long-haul movements to visit neighbouring countries or another province in the same agrarian.
for example
, in Indonesia a long time ago before aeroplanes existed, we had to take 4 days or 7 days to ride from Jakarta to Padang. the reason is we must take a bus trip along the way.
moreover
, the infrastructure is not as good as today. another example is when Hajj season comes, the people who want to go to Makkah must take a ship for 1 month of tour. Today, we can go with an aeroplane and just need 10 to 14 hours to go to Makkah.
Secondly
, I believe the trend is positive.
this
 is because we can visit another province or another bucolic to broaden our views about the culture in another place
such
 as food, local daily activities, or something that can embrace ourselves. we can amaze ourselves when we go to some places far away from our homes. we can learn about something that does not happen in our bucolic which is good for our experience.
moreover
, a long trip can expand our economy through foreign exchange.
for example
, if foreign tourists from another homey who want to come to our agrarian will bring something good for our nation
such
 as foreign exchange. all in all, I believe that long-haul sailing has a positive impact not only on ourselves as broadens our views but
also
 has an impact on the provincial where we go
such
 as foreign exchange.
Submitted by rifkiw1205 on

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Introduction
Make sure your introduction provides a clear overview of the topics you will discuss. This helps readers understand what to expect.
Language accuracy
To improve clarity, aim for more precise language and check the accuracy of word usage (e.g., replace 'bucolic' with 'country' or 'region' when referring to places).
Paragraph structure
Use paragraphs effectively to structure your essay. Each main idea should start a new paragraph.
Coherence
For coherence, ensure your ideas are logically ordered and clearly linked. Transition words can help bridge your points smoothly.
Supporting examples
Expand your examples to clearly link them to your main argument, demonstrating how they support your points.
Content relevance
You've nicely captured the impact of technological advancement on travel distances. This supports your main point well.
Understanding of topic
Your essay reflects an understanding of the positive impacts of long-distance travel, both personally and economically, which is good.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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