The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

As the world
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
more
increadible
Correct your spelling
incredible
with
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
technology, I believe that the median standard of public
health
is tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
to increase, rather
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
decreased
Wrong verb form
decrease
show examples
, as many
people
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
in
this
notion. In my opinion, the advancement of technology has brought and will certainly
brought
Change the verb form
bring
be brought
show examples
people
's
health
to the next level, as there are so
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
interventions
people
can do
realted
Correct your spelling
related
this
Change preposition
to this
show examples
matter, and I will elaborate more
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the following paragraph. A decade ago, the
health
praticioners
Correct your spelling
practitioners
tend
Wrong verb form
tended
show examples
to be suffering from maintaining someone's
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
life
as there were not enough resources to use and there were no multiple choices to do.
For instance
, when
people
come to
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
show examples
and the doctor
diagnose
Change the verb form
diagnoses
show examples
the patients with cancer, the doctor will probably say "
you
Capitalize word
You
show examples
only have three months left before you die".
This
action could happen as there were no devices that the
professinals
Correct your spelling
professionals
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
use to
killed
Change the form of the verb
kill
show examples
the cancer cells.
However
, in today's era, when a patient
diagnosed
Add a missing verb
is diagnosed
show examples
with cancer or other diseases, the doctor can provide some relevant choices,
such
as
chemotheraphy
Correct your spelling
chemotherapy
, or even nuclear
theraphy
Correct your spelling
therapy
. These several medical actions can be done because of the
advencement
Correct your spelling
advancement
of science and technology, and it
use
Wrong verb form
is used
show examples
to ensure that
people
have bigger life
chance
Fix the agreement mistake
chances
show examples
.
In addition
, as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
growing rapidly, a lot of
scientist
Change to a plural noun
scientists
show examples
try
Wrong verb form
are trying
show examples
to make
a better varieties
Correct the article-noun agreement
a better variety
better varieties
show examples
of food,
such
as fruits and vegetables.
For example
, it is evident that corn, banana, and even chicken that we see these
day's
Change the noun form
days
day
show examples
are way much better
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
it's
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
origin before it domesticated or cloned by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
.
The corn
Correct article usage
Corn
show examples
and
banana
Fix the agreement mistake
bananas
show examples
in several decades ago
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
believed
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not
be
Fix the infinitive
to be
show examples
eaten by
people
, as the size of the corn
tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
show examples
to be too small and the seeds of the banana are more dominant
thenn
Correct your spelling
then
than
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
flesh, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
chicken nowadays
tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
show examples
to be double or triple
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
size. From
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
, we can imagine how can
people
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
their
nutritions
Fix the agreement mistake
nutrition
show examples
needed
Replace the word
needs
show examples
if all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
of food can not be consumed. In conclusion, I firmly believe that
people
's
health
in the future
are
Verb problem
will
show examples
not
going
Verb problem
be
show examples
lower than today, as
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
always work hard to ensure
people
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
live
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
prosperous in
this
plannet
Correct your spelling
planet
and it
already
Add a missing verb
is already
show examples
proofed
Replace the word
proven
show examples
in
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
life from the illustrations in the previous paragraph, because the past is the key to the present, and the present is the key to the future.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Consider using paragraph transitions to improve flow between ideas.
task achievement
Watch out for spelling and grammatical errors (e.g., 'increadible' should be 'incredible', 'advencement' should be 'advancement', 'then' instead of 'than'). Correct these for greater clarity.
task achievement
Use varied sentence structures to showcase language proficiency. Mix simple, compound, and complex sentences effectively.
task achievement
Effective use of relevant examples to support your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, effectively outlines your perspective.
task achievement
Presentation of a clear thesis statement outlining your argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
What to do next:
Look at other essays: