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Writing Samples
Band 6

Tourism is always a force for good which enables people of different countries to understand each other. To what extent do you agree with this idea ?

#tourism #force #people #countries #idea
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Tourism invariably serves as a positive influence, fostering mutual understanding among communities from diverse nations. From my perspective, I totally agree that always a force for good that enables populations from different countries to understand each other.
firstly
, being a good citizen to all travellers who come to our country is a fundamental attitude which will make visitors enjoy their holiday.
for instance
, the indigenous people should have a friendly attitude no matter what, when they meet travellers.
furthermore
, the kindness of our people will spread out in all countries in the world so that they have another choice to be their vocations.
thus
, the government or the stakeholders in every region should provide a role to ensure the indigenous people are friendly.
Secondly
, ensuring that the tourists feel happy to stay for long in our places
due to
 a good service.
for example
, when tourists need some help they know where should go to gain information regarding their problem.
moreover
, the information that they obtain is actually trusted and credible in order to make them not hesitate.
therefore
, increasing facilities and services is the best solution to make the foreigners come to our country
instead
 of visiting the countries that have the same wonderful views. in conclusion, both increasing the attitude of our citizens and ensuring the services to all visitors are the solutions to encourage tourists to spend their holiday in our country.
Submitted by gunawankohan on

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Example Detail
Try to provide more developed examples and elaborate further on the impact of tourism on mutual understanding between countries.
Structure
Ensure a clear and error-free introduction and conclusion to improve the structure of your essay.
Sentence Variety
Consider varying your sentence structures more to enhance the complexity and flow of your writing.
Content Relevance
Your essay clearly outlines the positive aspects of tourism and its potential to foster understanding between peoples.
Organization
You effectively use paragraphs to separate different ideas, which aids the reader's understanding.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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