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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think if students are afraid of the teacher it is better. Others see that having friendly relations is better. What do you think? Discuss both points and give us your opinion.

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There are differing viewpoints, where certain folks believe it is better if
students
Use synonyms
 are afraid of their
teachers
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 preferable if others support close relationships with
teachers
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will outline my thoughts about these two perspectives. The first perspective is some citizens incline
students
Use synonyms
 to feel intimidated by their lecturers because of the development of respect. Respect is a crucial value that
students
Use synonyms
 must learn about, particularly from the lecturers since they impart knowledge and full dedication to bring humans to their capability. In many developed Asian countries
such
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 as Japan and Singapore, they implement character building in each school. The purpose of
this
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 concept is to enhance their attitude during school time. Meanwhile, there is an opposing view where
students
Use synonyms
 tend to develop a close relationship with their tutor to enhance communication. Communication is one of the essential things that humans need to connect.
For instance
Linking Words
, some mental health cases happen to young generations during their learning process.
Thus
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, to solve that problem,
students
Use synonyms
 need a teacher’s role to discuss with. Despite
this
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, communication
also
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 establishes a suitable methodology for learners because educators approach them intimately. If the
students
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 are comforted by their
teachers
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, they feel like
teachers
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 both parents and friends. In conclusion, the teacher’s role both as a teacher who can be fearful and a teacher who can be a colleague has advantages and disadvantages which can lead to a positive and negative impact since
teachers
Use synonyms
 must consider their position with the diversity of
students
Use synonyms
' personalities to build a strong bonding with them.

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Idea Development
Continue to develop clear and comprehensive ideas, as done in your essay. This strengthens your argument and engages the reader.
Supporting Evidence
Include more specific examples or data to support your arguments. This will enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
Balanced Discussion
Ensure a balanced discussion of both sides of the argument before presenting your own viewpoint. This enhances the depth of your analysis.
Language Variety
Consider more varied sentence structures and transitions to enhance the flow of your essay.
Structure
Well-structured essay with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Supporting Examples
Good use of examples to support main points, particularly in discussing the importance of character building and communication.
Content Depth
Effective contrast between the benefits of discipline and close relationships in education.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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