IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people feel a country can't be economically progressive and environmentally friendly at the same time. Others disagree with this view. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

#people #country #time #points
Some societies believe that the government can not develop the recession progressively and at the same point , they can not be friendly to the environment. Others believe that the authority can do both. I personally believe that the homey can do both without decreasing the level of each other.
This
 essay will elaborate on that issue. on the one hand, the public who believe that a country can not be aggressive in the economy without harming the environment have a reason, without destroying essence which means that by exploring natural resources, the ministry can not push the number of developments in the recession.
This
 is because the rule must produce some product and
then
 sell it to provide the margin.
For example
, the regime of Indonesia must explore the nickel massively in their description to produce batteries and
then
 sell them to mobile companies.
For instance
, they make some margin to develop their country in huge numbers. despite that fact, Indonesia destroys habitat massively too.
on the other hand
, the community who believe the union can develop their recession without ruining their type,
also
 have the opinion that the power should be shifting their oldskull way to producing some product.
For example
, some countries have switched to using renewable resources for producing electricity
such
 as geothermal, wind and water. They do not ruin their description because they find another way and they realize their forest is important for their agrarian not only for now but
also
 in the future. in conclusion, I completely agree that the provincial must find a new way or solution to develop the economic field without ruining natural resources. we can learn from the developed countries how to produce some products without destroying the ecosystem.
Submitted by rifkiw1205 on

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task achievement
Develop your ideas more fully in each paragraph to provide a more comprehensive analysis
task achievement
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and effectively.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas.
coherence cohesion
Check for and correct grammatical errors to enhance the clarity and professionalism of your writing.
task achievement
You have presented both views and your own opinion, which shows a good understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, helping the reader to understand your stance.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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