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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the table below shows stastistics about the top five countries for international tourism in 2012 and 2013.

the table below shows stastistics about the top five countries for international tourism in 2012 and 2013.
#stastistics #five #countries #tourism
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The table illustrates
informations
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information
pieces of information
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 about the top
countries
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 for global tourism, which are
France
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, the
USA
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, Spain,
China
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 and Italy from 2012 to 2013. In general, what stands out from the table is that the
USA
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was
Verb problem
had
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 the highest amount of tourism spending,
while
Linking Words
 Italy
was
Verb problem
had
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 the lowest amount of both
number
Correct article usage
the number
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 of visiters and
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
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income from tourists throughout the period.
Also
Linking Words
,
France
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 had the most number of
tourist
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tourists
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 in 2012 and 2013. It is obvious that all
countries
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 except
China
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, experienced an upward trend from 2012 to 2013 in the rate of tourists number. Spain witnessed a rapid
increase
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 from 57.5 to 60.7 in 2013.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
USA
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 and
France
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 saw a gradual
increase
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by
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of
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 almost 2
millions
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million
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 people.
Morever
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Moreover
, Italy increased from 46.4 to 47.7 between 2012 and 2013.
China
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 declined from 57.7 to 55.7
As a result
Linking Words
, four of the
countries
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 saw an upward trend for 1 year. In
addinitonal
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addition
, there was an
increase
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for
Change preposition
in
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 all
countries
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'
tourists
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tourist
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 spending. Italy and
China
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 experienced a slight
increase
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 in 2013.
While
Linking Words
 Spain and
France
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 witnessed a rapid
increase
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by between
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apply
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, the
USA
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 skyrocketed from 126.3 billion to 139.6 dollars between 2012 and 2013.
Submitted by hsmkashi on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, france, usa, china, increase with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rapid" was used 2 times.
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