IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

the table below shows stastistics about the top five countries for international tourism in 2012 and 2013.

the table below shows stastistics about the top five countries for international tourism in 2012 and 2013.
#stastistics #five #countries #tourism
The table illustrates
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 about the top
countries
 for global tourism, which are
France
, the
USA
, Spain,
China
 and Italy from 2012 to 2013. In general, what stands out from the table is that the
USA
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the highest amount of tourism spending,
while
 Italy
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the lowest amount of both
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of visiters and
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
income from tourists throughout the period.
Also
,
France
 had the most number of
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
 in 2012 and 2013. It is obvious that all
countries
 except
China
, experienced an upward trend from 2012 to 2013 in the rate of tourists number. Spain witnessed a rapid
increase
 from 57.5 to 60.7 in 2013.
Additionally
, the
USA
 and
France
 saw a gradual
increase
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 almost 2
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 people.
Morever
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, Italy increased from 46.4 to 47.7 between 2012 and 2013.
China
 declined from 57.7 to 55.7
As a result
, four of the
countries
 saw an upward trend for 1 year. In
addinitonal
Correct your spelling
addition
, there was an
increase
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 all
countries
'
tourists
Fix the agreement mistake
tourist
show examples
 spending. Italy and
China
 experienced a slight
increase
 in 2013.
While
 Spain and
France
 witnessed a rapid
increase
by between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, the
USA
 skyrocketed from 126.3 billion to 139.6 dollars between 2012 and 2013.
Submitted by hsmkashi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, france, usa, china, increase with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rapid" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: