Music has always been and continues to be the universal language of mankind. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#music #language #mankind

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Some people believe that throughout history and still today,

music

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remains the shared language of humanity. I partially agree with the given statement, and I will elaborate on it in

this

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essay. On the one hand, we live in a globalised era

also

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our technology is developed, we can listen to

music

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anywhere and anytime.

Moreover

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, in the past,

music

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used various things

such

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as treatment, stopping war and assisting to make folks relax.

In addition

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, nowadays, many communities listen to

music

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, and they find solace in that.

For example

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, In South Korea, there is a pop culture called K-pop and a famous singer named BTS who made songs from their experiences and encouraged others so that numerous world individuals listen to their songs and feel comfortable, which leads to peace and relaxation.

For

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this

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reason, I believe that

music

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has power in people's minds and some

music

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is used for treatment.

This

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phenomenon remains the shared expression of humanity because the majority of communities listen to BTS

music

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, and they want to learn Korean so it is beneficial to South Koreans.

On the other hand

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, some countries use

music

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to control their citizens because they make people loyal so that they dominate their nation permanently.

For instance

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, In North Korea, they make

music

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only for their dictator because if they make various

music

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genres, that dictator will kill them.

Furthermore

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, most of their citizens do not talk about opera or musicals because they have no freedom.

Therefore

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, these kinds of nations do not share a language of humanity, which is a tragic situation. In conclusion, I partially agree with

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topic. Today, we can listen to

music

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and communicate with each other using

music

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language.

Conversely

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, some countries cannot listen to any

music

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they must listen to

music

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about their dictators. So, we should try to assist those kinds of nations because we are global citizens, and they deserve to rights listen to various

music

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Submitted by livewire53 on Thu Sep 14 2023

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Example Variety

Consider diversifying your examples to not only bolster your argument but also to showcase a wider understanding of the topic across different cultures and genres.

Language Use

To enhance clarity and impact, periodically review your essay for potential improvements in sentence structure and vocabulary. A varied and accurate use of language contributes significantly to the overall effect of your essay.

Balanced Argument

When introducing opposing viewpoints, make sure to provide a balanced examination. This includes allotting a comparable amount of analysis and evidence to each side of the argument to maintain an objective tone.

Introduction

Your introduction effectively sets the stage for your essay, clearly stating your position and the structure you will follow. This helps the reader understand your perspective from the beginning.

Example Usage

You've used very relevant and specific examples, such as BTS and the situation in North Korea, to support your arguments. This makes your essay engaging and persuasive.

Conclusion

Your conclusion skillfully wraps up your discussion, reinforcing your stance and encouraging further thought on the subject. This is a key aspect of a strong essay.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

326 words

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Music has always been and continues to be the universal language of mankind. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As technology advances, traveling to space is likely to become an option for holidaysmakers in the future. What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of space tourism?

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their families and friends. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Traffic jam is increasing, what are causes and solution?

some people said professionals such as doctors or engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training while other said they should be free to work in another country Task :

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned, and electric cars should replace them.