Many think that religion should be taught in schools while others think it should be avoided. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Over the past decades, the significance of learning
religion
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has grown tremendously, concerning students'
parents
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and society about teaching children about it and
supplement
Wrong verb form
supplementing

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb supplement. Consider changing it.

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into
Correct pronoun usage
it into

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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school
Add an article
the school

The noun phrase school curriculum seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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curriculum. Many people accept
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

opinion,
whereas
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

others believe it should be restricted from
education
Add an article
the education

The noun phrase education system seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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system.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the major point of studying
religion
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is not a call to do extremist actions or
participating
Wrong verb form
participate

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb participating. Consider changing it.

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on
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun terrorism in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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terrorism, it is to give crucial knowledge about the origins of different
religions
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and where they
have been
Wrong verb form
were

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb have been. Consider changing it.

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established and why have human beings been created,
expaining
Correct your spelling
explaining

If you don’t want expaining to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

in religious
termins
Correct your spelling
terms
terminus

If you don’t want termins to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. If
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students

It seems that student may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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learn about his or her own
religion
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, he or she will be mentally wise and respect others'
religions
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, students would understand the principles of
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

religions
Fix the agreement mistake
religion

It seems that religions may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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if they
are
Wrong verb form
were

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb are. Consider changing it.

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given with correct materials.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in the
future
Add a comma
future,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in the future. Consider adding a comma.

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while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

travelling around the world they will know more about countries' history and
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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main
religions
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, since there are terroristic actions in the world,
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

concern
Add a missing verb
are concern

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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Change preposition
about theis
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theis
Correct your spelling
their

If you don’t want theis to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

childrens'
Change noun form
children's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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future and their choices. Most
parents
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

associate
religion
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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extremism as the members of terrorism hide usually under the
religion
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, demonstrating
wrong
Change the article
the wrong

It appears that the phrase wrong side does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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side of
religion
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
call
Wrong verb form
calling

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb call. Consider changing it.

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for collaboration.
That is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

why
parents
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

refuse
supplement
Fix the infinitive
to supplement

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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religion
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

into the syllabus.
To conclude
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

and from my perspective, students should be taught in schools if and only if the teachers or mentors of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

type of subject are tested by special test proving their positive view and given them with correct materials

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task achievement
Be sure to provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. While your essay addresses both sides of the argument and your position is clear, including specific examples can add more depth to your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and connectors to improve the flow of your essay. Introducing more complex sentence structures and diverse linking words can enhance the coherence of your essay.
task achievement
You have done well to discuss both sides of the argument and provide a clear opinion in your conclusion. This is crucial for a balanced argumentative essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good overall structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs discussing each viewpoint, and a conclusion that restates your opinion. This helps in making your argument coherent and easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • religious education
  • multi-faith society
  • values and ethics
  • tolerance
  • diversity
  • religious freedom
  • secular education
  • curriculum
  • worldviews
  • interfaith dialogue
  • religious literacy
  • moral guidance
  • cultural understanding
  • critical thinking
  • respect
  • indoctrination
  • religious beliefs
  • secular state
  • religious extremism
  • academic subject
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