It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In today's world,

people

Use synonyms

face

Use synonyms

choices between taking numerous

risks

Use synonyms

in their careers and personal lives.

While

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

can offer various advantages, it can

also

Linking Words

bring about some detrimental effects. Personally, I would argue that

although

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

phenomenon has a few advantages, its drawbacks are more considerable. On the one hand, there are several minor merits to having to

face

Use synonyms

both types of

risks

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

risk will help

people

Use synonyms

boost their problem-solving skills, and

thus

Linking Words

they can offer the opportunity to enhance their career path.

For example

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who work as marketers in a startup agency are encouraged to conduct more work in order to find potential customers than in other companies.

This

Linking Words

is the main reason why both types of

risks

Use synonyms

positively affect

people

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

development still has major downsides, which eclipse the aforementioned benefits. For

people

Use synonyms

with poor psychology, having to

face

Use synonyms

risks

Use synonyms

prevents them from finding jobs. To explain,

this

Linking Words

type of person tends to prevent themselves from the community.

However

Linking Words

, they burden finances;

therefore

Linking Words

, they

also

Linking Words

seek a job in order to solve it.

Due to

Linking Words

the

risks

Use synonyms

in their profession, they are likely to retire. It is not hard to understand that

people

Use synonyms

do not want to

face

Use synonyms

risks

Use synonyms

in life. In conclusion, I personally think that even though a small number of upsides can arise from

this

Linking Words

phenomenon, its demerits are of greater significance. Notwithstanding, it is advised that there are several

risks

Use synonyms

that encourage

people

Use synonyms

to improve their career path.

Submitted by maitruonghongvan2403 on Thu Oct 26 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure that the introduction clearly states your position on the issue. While an opinion was presented, it lacked a strong thesis statement that would guide the reader through your argument.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, work on the logical flow of ideas. Try to create clear and direct topic sentences for each paragraph and use a range of cohesive devices effectively.

task achievement

Include more specific examples and evidence to support your points. General statements should be substantiated with concrete details to strengthen the argument.

coherence cohesion

Check for repetition of ideas and phrases. This impacts the logical flow and the reader's engagement with the text. Aim for a more varied and precise vocabulary.

task achievement

The conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the key arguments made in the essay and by more firmly stating your final position.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
You have received a job offer for an exciting, new position. Although you are expected to start on September 7th, you are only available to start a week later due to personal reasons. Write a letter to your new boss. In your letter: Express your enthusiasm for the job offer Explain the problem Suggest what you can do
I sincerely apologize while writing this letter that I will not be able to start my job from 7th September.
4
band
Now it is possible for tourists to travel into any remote locations Identify advantages and disadvantages of this
People have different views regarding the possiblity of making journey by tourists to foreign countries. While many insists that tourism and traveling around the universe offers of benefits, I think the minimal benefits they bring pale in comparison to disadvantegeous of probable habitat distruction maked by stranger visitors.
6
band
In many societies in the world, the population is ageing rapidly and this is leading to an unsustainable increase in the cost of public healthcare. A nation's population should pay for their healthcare provision in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
Advances in medical technology and the eradication of killer diseases have increased life expectancy across the globe. However, an aging population requires more health care, putting an impossible financial burden on many public healthcare systems. In this essay, I will discuss whether I think such costs should be borne by the population.
4
band
Most people believe that stricter punishments should be given for traffic offenses. To what extent do you agree?
Traffic crime has been increased over the last two or three decades to around the world. Most claim that the hard punishments should provide for who does not adhere the traffic rules and regulations. I strongly agree with this statement and this essay discuss it briefly for the subsequent reasons.
6.5
band
Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some people believe that children should be taught by their parents about how to function as useful members of society, while others believe that sending children to educational institutions is the best way for them to study this. Although the latter opinion can be beneficial in some cases, I believe that family upbringing plays a more important role in educating children to be good parts of the community.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Now it is possible for tourists to travel into any remote locations Identify advantages and disadvantages of this

Most people believe that stricter punishments should be given for traffic offenses. To what extent do you agree?

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.