in some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is deeply ingrained in some societies to encourage children to set goals for themselves by telling them that they will all be achievable with hard effort.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
belief has its positive aspects, there are some downsides to it that will be elaborated in the following essay. Children can benefit from the sense of confidence they gain after being given the certainty that all
that is
Linking Words
needed is hard work. Even though
this
Linking Words
statement would rather be far-fetched, it provides tangibility regarding their future aims.
Moreover
Linking Words
, by accepting
this
Linking Words
notion, youngsters tend to get more consistent when doing their obligatory tasks which results in their skills getting honed almost unconsciously. A recent study demonstrated that youngsters who adhere to the belief that their sufferings will be paid off in the end, complete them tremendously better than others.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
prejudice lures children into indulging in perfectionism;
therefore
Linking Words
, leaving them unsatisfied with any outcome less than they expect.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they would set the bars so high, that will diminish their tendency to initiate in the first place.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, these youngsters would find it painful to experience failure; so much so that they might deprive themselves of getting professional help when needed;
therefore
Linking Words
, struggling with numerous mental dilemmas on their own. Take me as an example; I have always been so used to getting excellent grades that when I missed a test
due to
Linking Words
my sickness, I locked myself in my bedroom as a punishment. In a nutshell, some people tend to inspire the younger generations by promising them victory after a prolonged period of dedicated and disciplined effort.
This
Linking Words
has its own pros and cons which were all pinpointed in the essay above.
Submitted by bita.rezaei7052 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
You've done a great job presenting your ideas in a structured way, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To further enhance your coherence, consider varying your transitional phrases to smoothly link your ideas and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument effectively with clear, comprehensive ideas. You could amplify your response by exploring a wider range of examples and possibly incorporating some statistical evidence or studies to solidify your arguments, where appropriate.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your essay, providing a clear overview and summing up your argument succinctly.
Examples
You've included relevant examples from your own experience, which makes your argument more engaging and persuasive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: