in some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

It is deeply ingrained in some societies to encourage children to set goals for themselves by telling them that they will all be achievable with hard effort.
While
this
belief has its positive aspects, there are some downsides to it that will be elaborated in the following essay. Children can benefit from the sense of confidence they gain after being given the certainty that all
that is
needed is hard work. Even though
this
statement would rather be far-fetched, it provides tangibility regarding their future aims.
Moreover
, by accepting
this
notion, youngsters tend to get more consistent when doing their obligatory tasks which results in their skills getting honed almost unconsciously. A recent study demonstrated that youngsters who adhere to the belief that their sufferings will be paid off in the end, complete them tremendously better than others.
On the other hand
,
this
prejudice lures children into indulging in perfectionism;
therefore
, leaving them unsatisfied with any outcome less than they expect.
Consequently
, they would set the bars so high, that will diminish their tendency to initiate in the first place.
Furthermore
, these youngsters would find it painful to experience failure; so much so that they might deprive themselves of getting professional help when needed;
therefore
, struggling with numerous mental dilemmas on their own. Take me as an example; I have always been so used to getting excellent grades that when I missed a test
due to
my sickness, I locked myself in my bedroom as a punishment. In a nutshell, some people tend to inspire the younger generations by promising them victory after a prolonged period of dedicated and disciplined effort.
This
has its own pros and cons which were all pinpointed in the essay above.
Submitted by bita.rezaei7052 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
You've done a great job presenting your ideas in a structured way, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. To further enhance your coherence, consider varying your transitional phrases to smoothly link your ideas and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument effectively with clear, comprehensive ideas. You could amplify your response by exploring a wider range of examples and possibly incorporating some statistical evidence or studies to solidify your arguments, where appropriate.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your essay, providing a clear overview and summing up your argument succinctly.
Examples
You've included relevant examples from your own experience, which makes your argument more engaging and persuasive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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