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Band 6.5

Many doctors recommend that older people exercise regularly, but most patients do not follow an exercise routine. Why do you think this happens? How can people be encouraged to exercise regularly?

#doctors #people #exercise #patients
Having a healthy lifestyle is indispensable in
this
 era. Doctors endlessly advocate the older society to follow exercise consistently
whereas
 most of them do not pursue the movements
accordingly
. In my opinion, these subsets of patients are not convinced that proper routine can indeed alleviate the occurrence of negative health outcomes. In
this
 essay, I will explain some of the reasons behind
such
 tendencies and resolutions.
Firstly
, the main reason the elderly do not engage in physical activities is
due to
 the misconception of getting an injury. To illustrate, after physical workouts like heavy lifting muscles get fatigued
due to
 being inflexible and stretchable, why the elderly are afraid of performing higher tasks.
Secondly
, lack of time in a day is another reason that stops the community. To exemplify, there are some events prior to older community and busy schedules than working out in aerobics three times a week. It seems difficult to work out in a wiggle room after their exhausting hours.
Nevertheless
, raising appropriate awareness is an effective solution to encourage the elderly to exercise.
In particular
, authorities should launch some campaigns to educate the public on the prominence of workouts.
Moreover
, they should initiate to accommodate public sports centres like
pars
Correct your spelling
parks
show examples
, rec centres with chargeless where older people can gather together to know the benefits and
also
 to build up their friendships.
Consequently
, they spend their half of time engaging in health-related activities. In a nutshell, exercise is the key source of a healthy lifestyle nowadays.
Although
, people are not aware of the negative impacts of the body without movements and misunderstandings of health illnesses, providing educational awareness and recreational centres are the best ideas to make seniors vigorous and agile.
Submitted by athulyaraj0011 on

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Task Achievement
Try to develop clear and detailed examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments more convincing and comprehensible.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structure and vocabulary to enhance the fluency of your essay. This will also help in making your essay more engaging.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific examples and data, if possible, to back up your points. This adds credibility and strength to your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay provides a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in making your argument coherent.
Task Achievement
You addressed multiple reasons behind the issue and provided solutions, showing a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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