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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The two maps illustrated the distribution of the facilities of the May city in 1950 and in the present.

The two maps illustrated the distribution of the facilities of the May city in 1950 and in the present.
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The two diagrams compare the infrastructure of May
Use synonyms
city
Capitalize word
City
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 in 1950 with its current state.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that
while
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 there were large undeveloped areas in May
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city
Capitalize word
City
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 back in 1950, the residential area has expanded significantly, and numerous facilities have been built since
then
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.
Furthermore
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, the population of the
city
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 has seen a substantial increase from 20,000 in 1950 to 200,000 presently, indicating a tenfold growth in the
city
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's population. In 1950, the
city
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 featured a business district, with its northern region predominantly residential. There was only one bridge crossing the river, and a small airport was situated at the easternmost point of the
city
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.
However
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, significant transformations have occurred in the
city
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 between 1950 and the present day. The river is now controlled by a dam, resulting in the formation of a large lake in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 of May
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city
Capitalize word
City
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.
Additionally
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, both the business and residential areas have expanded approximately fivefold compared to 1950, with the lake now serving as a separator between them. The airport has been expanded, and a new government building has been erected in the southern part of the
city
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.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words city with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significantly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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