IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, more young people prefer to receive work-based training than to get
educated
Wrong verb form
an education
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 university. In my opinion, I believe that the advantages of
this
Linking Words
 trend completely outweigh the disadvantages.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the knowledge taught in the universities is a kind of superficial, which seems useless for students’ future work,
while
Linking Words
 the work-based training can give them more practical knowledge, helping them get ready for future
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it takes the university students a long
time
Use synonyms
, 4 to 7 years
Change preposition
on averagely
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averagely
Replace the word
average
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 to study one major, and most of that
time
Use synonyms
 is wasted
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 some campus activities and irrelevant courses.
However
Linking Words
, work-based training costs less
time
Use synonyms
 and money
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
 students' academic pressure at the same
time
Use synonyms
. Especially for students whose families are not wealthy, work-based training can give them a chance to receive quality education
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
spending
Check wording
cost
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 and
attend
Verb problem
start
show examples
work
Replace the word
working
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 an earlier age.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
there’re
Use the right word
there are
show examples
also
Linking Words
 some drawbacks if
this
Linking Words
 trend
keeps
Wrong verb form
continues to
show examples
 develop to an extent.
For example
Linking Words
, if the majority of young people in a country choose not to attend universities, there will be
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
 highly educated intellectuals who can contribute to a country's development. Without standard education, a country’s cutting-edge technology will stop developing
just
Punctuation problem
, just
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 depending on work-based training.
To conclude
Linking Words
, though the trend that more youth are choosing
receiving
Wrong verb form
to receive
show examples
 work-based training
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
 university education may
has
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 some disadvantages,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
its advantages completely outweigh

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tip
Start with a clear intro that states your view and what you will discuss.
tip
Use simple links like firstly, next, and also to show how ideas are tied.
tip
Give more real or clear examples for each point to show how it works.
tip
Check grammar and make sentences easy and correct, especially tenses and subject form.
strength
You hold a clear view and repeat it in the end.
strength
There is some use of linking words like firstly and nevertheless.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-based training
  • enrol
  • university
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • practical skills
  • experience
  • workforce
  • employment
  • earnings
  • opportunities
  • further education
  • theoretical knowledge
  • career options
  • exploitation
  • balance
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